Luck
by RaeGrave
Summary: After a failed suicide attempt Lapis Lazuli is sent to Beach City Mental Hospital where she meets new friends and does her best to follow the path to recovery.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: Hi, I'm new at writing so please write any constructive** **criticism you have in the reviews, I would really appreciate it, thanks. Enjoy the story.**

As the sun went down and the street lights turned on, no one noticed the blue haired girl sitting on the railing of the bridge. She was used to this, no one except for her parents ever noticed her. She hoped they did not blame themselves for what she was about to do, it was not their fault.

Clutching the teardrop-shaped Lapis Lazuli she kept on a silver chain around her neck, she slowly stood on the railing.

Breathing heavily, she looked down at the water below her. It had rained earlier in the day and the river was flowing harder due to the extra water, although she could still see the tops of jagged rocks sticking out of the water.

Letting out one final breath, she let herself fall forward.

oOoOo

Lapis opened her eyes and immediately closed them due to the bright lighting in the room. Squinting her eyes, she looked around the room, trying to figure out where she was.

The room was void of color, except for a blue envelope on the nightstand next to the bed she was lying in.

Hearing voices outside the closed door, she focused on them, trying to hear what they were saying when the door opened and a tall woman with curly, pink hair walked into the room.

The woman did not notice her at first, instead reading a paper stuck to the clipboard she was holding.

At first she pretended to sleep, watching the woman, but deciding that she wanted answers, Lapis spoke up. "Um, excuse me." Her voice hurt when she spoke.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you were awake. My name is Rose." Rose smiled at her.

"Where are we?" This time when Lapis spoke, her throat still hurt, and she coughed into her hand.

"Does your throat hurt?" When Lapis nodded she continued talking. "I thought it would, you swallowed, and breathed in a lot of water. And to answer your question, we are in a hospital outside of beach city."

"Why am I here?" Lapis shut her eyes.

"Well, for multiple reasons actually. That river was not kind to you, well I guess you were expecting that when you jumped," Rose looked at the paper on her clipboard, "but you have a minor concussion, two fractured ribs, and a compound fractured in your forearm."

Lapis opened her eyes again, now noticing the cast around her right wrist. "That's not what I meant." She spoke quietly.

Rose furrowed her eyebrows. "It isn't?"

"I meant, why am I here," She gestured vaguely. "And not six feet below ground."

Rose looked at her with what looked like sadness, but Lapis decided was pity. "Because you're lucky."

"I don't feel very lucky."

"Don't worry, one day you will."

oOoOo

Five minutes later, after much questioning, Rose left the room to go and tell Lapis' parents that she was awake. Once she was alone Lapis felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks, which confused her because she didn't feel sad, she didn't really feel anything, just numb.

When she heard her parents outside the door, talking to Rose in hushed voices, she quickly rubbed the tears away.

Rose walked in first, Lapis' parents following close behind her.

She looked at their faces, she could tell that her mother had been crying but she saw almost no emotion on her father's face, maybe he felt just as numb as she did.

"Hi." was all she managed to squeak out.

Her parents walked closer to her, slowly, cautiously, as if they were approaching a feral animal. Her mother grabbed Lapis' good hand and attempted a smile although it looked more like a grimace. Lapis lowered her gaze to her lap, she couldn't meet her mother's eyes.

Sensing the tension, Rose spoke up. "I'm going to go sort through some papers with the doctor. You guys obviously have a lot to talk about so just tell me when I should come back, I'll be down the hall."

Lapis' mother, Robin, just nodded in return. With one final glance at Lapis, Rose walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Was it our fault?." Her father, Jay, mumbled.

Lapis lifted her gaze from her lap to meet his eyes. "What? No," she said quickly, "no it wasn't your fault. It was mine, I was the one who thought that it would solve my problems, I regret it." _What I regret is not finding a more foolproof way of dying._

"Well," Robin said, her voice wavering, "we're glad you regret it."

 _What the hell is this? 'We're glad you regret it' ugh they sound like they're lecturing me for staying out past curfew._ Her self-pity was starting to turn into anger and even though her parents were doing nothing wrong, she directed it at them.

"Did Rose tell you what her job is?" Jay asked.

"Uh, no. I assumed she was a nurse."

"You aren't to far off. She's just not the type of nurse that you're thinking of." Robin attempted a small laugh at her statement.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you see…" Robin trailed off, unable to find the right words. "Jay?"

Noticing Robin's distress at explaining the situation to Lapis, Jay, quietly, explained for her. "Rose is the co-owner of a hospital in Beach City, a mental hospital, to be exact. She's a therapist."

 _Oh God, they're sending me to an insane asylum._ Was what Lapis thought, but all she managed to do was squeak out a small "What?"

Now that the information was out in the open, Robin took over again. "Lapis, listen. It's a very nice place, we've read dozens of reviews on it, it's for kids and teens so you'll be surrounded by others your age."

"No." Lapis said firmly. "I don't need to go there. I'm fine, see?" Lapis attempted a smile, but similar to her mother, it looked more like a grimace.

"Lapis," Jay said calmly. "We've already discussed it with your doctor, and we believe that admitting you as a patient there is the best course of action."

Robin stood up from her chair. "I'll go get Rose, she'll help explain the situation." She said, quickly walking out of the room.

"But, Dad, mental hospitals are for people who are insane. I'm not insane, just…sad." She chose her words carefully.

Jay sighed, "Lapis-" He stopped when Robin and Rose walked back into the room.

"So here's the plan, Lapis," Rose said. "I discussed this with you doctor and we decided that the best course of action will be to keep you here in the hospital until your injuries are healed. And while we both think you should be admitted to the Beach City Mental hospital, while you're here, we'll be bringing another psychologist in for a second opinion." She looked over to Lapis' parents. "Are you guys fine with that?."

They both nodded, Robin said, "Of course."

"Great," Rose looked down at the watch on her wrist. "I have an appointment with another patient in the hospital, so I'll be leaving now, but I'll see you tomorrow." And with that final statement, she walked out of the room; Robin and Jay both slowly waving goodbye and Lapis not bothering to look up from her lap.

oOoOo

Late that night Lapis sat up in her bed. She could not sleep, she needed to distract her, anything. She looked around the plain room and remembered the blue envelope sitting on the nightstand.

She carefully picked it up and held it in front of her.

It was not addressed to her, but it was not addressed to anyone else, either. So she opened it.

She did not know what she was expecting to find, probably so sort of get well card. But it was not a card. It was her necklace. The tear-dropped lapis lazuli, the gem she was named after, on the silver chain. But it was broken. A thin, jagged crack going down the middle.

It was this, small thing, that set her over the edge. She began to cry. Crying, was an understatement, though. She sobbed, she clutched the necklace to her chest, she was curled into a fetal position, hiding under the thin blankets, face distorted, the hand not holding the necklace pressed against her mouth in an attempt to muffle the painful noises she was making.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Sorry It took so long to update, I was hoping to keep a weekly schedule but that plan went down the drain. I might not be able to update the third chapter for a long time, my chromebook belongs to my school and I need to give it back before summer vacation starts and I don't have a phone so unless I am able to save up enough money for a tablet like I want to, I most likely won't be able to update until after summer vacation, which sucks balls because I love writing this. On a happier note, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it made me so happy to read them and like I said last time, please write any constructive criticism in the reviews. Also, sorry this was such a long author's note. Love you guys.**

 **-Rae**

Three weeks later, Lapis had not fully healed, her concussion was gone but the two ribs that had broken were almost fully healed, they still hurt, and she still needed to wear a cast on her arm. Despite these facts, her doctor had decided that it was a good time to release her.

During those three weeks she was kept under close watch, a nurse was constantly checking in on her. The second day in the hospital, she was placed in a room made special for suicidal patients, a security camera in the corner of the ceiling, anything she could hurt herself with was not allowed in the room; no curtains covering the windows and she had to give her necklace to her parents, for example.

For the first few days she was relatively uncooperative. She put up a fight when they gave her medicine, refusing to take it. At first she did not answer the therapist at all, then she only answered him with sarcastic comments. She did not like him at all; where Rose was calm and understanding, he was cold and insensitive.

Soon though, Lapis realized that it would make it easier on herself and others if she did cooperate. So she did. She took her medicine and answered the therapist's questions, although she did not always tell him the whole truth.

Since she would be admitted to the Beach City Mental Hospital immediately after being released from the regular hospital, her doctor decided it would be best if she stayed for more time than what was normal so her injuries would have more time to heal.

And now, three weeks later, Lapis was sitting in the back of her parents car, her father driving and her mother sitting in the passenger seat, with a duffel bag of clothes and other necessities beside her, on their way to the Beach City Mental Hospital.

oOoOo

"Lapis, we're here." Lapis opened her eyes to see her mother looking back at her from her seat in the car; she must have fallen asleep.

Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, she grabbed the duffel bag with her good and and waited as her father opened the door for her. Jay reached for the bag his daughter was holding when she got out of the car, "I'll carry that for you." he offered.

"No, it's fine." Lapis responded. _Just because my right arm is still healing, it doesn't mean my left arm is useless._

"Okay, then." Robin said, signaling they were all ready to go inside. She gently held onto Lapis shoulder, in what seemed like an attempt to comfort Lapis, but was really just a way to comfort herself, and they began to walk towards the front door.

The front doors were locked though, a button and speaker by them. Jay pressed the button until a voice came through the speaker. "State your business, please." said a kind, but professional sounding voice.

"Hi, my name is Jay Lazuli, my wife and I are dropping off our daughter Lapis."

After what sounded like the shuffling of papers, the voice spoke again. "Ah, yes. You can come in." There was a buzzing sound and a click of the door, signaling that it was now unlocked.

When they walked in, Lapis was surprised by how nice the room was. Sure, she had been shown brochures, but those usually over exaggerated how nice a place was. The floors were a bit boring, they were covered in a dull gray carpet, but the walls were painted a pretty shade of pale blue and the furniture wasn't too bad either. Sure the chairs in the room were old and some were mismatched, but they looked comfortable. Even the receptionist looked nice, she was young and had long blonde hair and dark green eyes.

When she noticed them coming she stood up from her seat at the circular desk in the middle of the room. "Hi, you must be the Lazulis." Lapis recognized her voice from the one coming through the speaker outside. "I'm the receptionist, Lily." Lily held out her hand and Robin and Jay took turns shaking it. She didn't bother shaking Lapis's hand. "I'll call Rose and tell her that you're here." She picked up the old phone on her desk and typed in a couple of numbers. "Hi Rose...yes...the Lazulis are here...ok, see you then." She put the phone back onto the receiver. "She'll just be a minute."

That next minute was filled with an awkward silence that no one took the liberty of breaking as they waited for Rose. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Rose, who was reaching the end of a long hallway that was connected to the waiting room, called out to them, saying hello.

Lapis watched silently as Rose and her parents exchanged greetings and as Lily sat back down in the chair at her desk.

"Hi Lapis." Rose said.

"Hi." The simple greeting seemed to satisfy Rose because she just smiled in response and then turned back to Robin and Jay.

"I still have a bit of paperwork that I need you two to sign, so follow me to my office please. Oh and please leave your bag with Lily so it can be searched through. I know it seems like an invasion of privacy but we need to make sure you aren't hiding anything dangerous" Lapis left her bag on the desk and Rose waved a goodbye to Lily, turned on her heels, and began to walk down the hallway she had come from. The Lazulis were following close behind, Robin's hand back on Lapis' shoulder, keeping Lapis close by her side.

They reached Rose's office and she held the door open for them as they walked inside. Lapis sat down on the pale pink couch opposite from Rose's desk, with her parents on either side of her; Rose sat in her own chair behind the desk.

"Okay then," Rose opened a drawer in her desk, and Lapis could here the papers she was searching through, and she pulled out a thin packet. "You still need to sign these." Rose handed the packet to Robin and Jay, along with a pen. And as they signed the papers, she looked over to Lapis. "So, Lapis, how have you been feeling since we last saw each other?"

Lapis saw, out of the corner of her eye, her parents stop writing, listening to her answer. "The same, I guess."

"How do you feel about coming hear?" Rose asked.

"I'm not really sure, it doesn't seem as prison like as I imagined," Rose laughed. "but I still don't want to be here, _but_ I know it's the best way for me to recover so I'll go along with it."

"Mhm, I've heard other patients with opinions like yours."

"Here, you go, Rose." Robin said as she handed the completed packet back to Rose.

Thank you," Rose said as she flipped through it, then smiled. "everything seems to be in order."

"Now that that's out of the way, could you tell us more about the building, the website didn't have as much information as we would have liked." Jay said.

"Of course, The first floor, which is obviously where we are now, contains the offices and the main lobby, this is where most private therapy sessions are held, we also have some people who come in for day sessions,I recommend those to as many people as possible," Rose glanced over at Lapis but looked back over to Robin and Jay before she noticed. "but once someone is considered a danger to themselves, or others, it is best to admit them as a full time patient. The second floor is for patients ages six to nine, but we don't have many patients that age, luckily. The cafeteria is also on that floor. The third floor is for ages 10 to thirteen. Once again, we don't have many patients that age, but there are more than on the second floor."

When Rose paused, Jay spoke up. "The website said there were classrooms?"

Lapis rolled her eyes, her mother had never been strict about her grades as long as she passed, but her father was a different story.

"Yes, the classrooms are on the third floor as well, we have a separate room for each age group, along with an art room, and a small library."

Jay seemed pleased with that, so Rose continued what she was previously saying. "The fourth floor is for ages fourteen to 17. That's our biggest group, so we don't have anything special on that floor." She looked at Lapis. "Since you're sixteen, that's where you'll be staying. The fifth floor is for _problem_ patients, no matter the age." Still looking at Lapis, she smiled an almost intimidating smile. "But you'll _never_ have to go there, right?"

"Uh, yeah, right." _Crap,_ Lapis thought, _I didn't know she could be that intimidating._ She made a mental note to never cross Rose. _She looks as harmless as a pink marshmallow, but I bet she can be ruthless when she wants to be._

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page then. That's everything that needed to be done while you guys were here so…" Rose trailed off.

"I guess it's time for us to leave then." Robin said, a bit unenthusiastically.

Everyone stood up from where they were sitting, and followed Rose out of her office, back down the hallway, and to the front room, where they had been earlier.

Robin hugged lapis tightly and Lapis hugged her back. They stayed like that for a minute, before Jay joined the hug.

"We love you." Robin whispered.

"I love you guys, too." Lapis whispered back.

They let go of each other, said one final goodbye, and Lapis watched as her parents walked out the front doors.

"Okay then, I'll bring you to your room." Rose began to walk to the staircase on the opposite side of the room and lapis followed her. "You'll have roommate, I did my best to pair you up with someone I thought you would get along with."

Lapis nodded along to what Rose was saying, barely listening. She was doing her best to take in her surroundings. The staircases were carpeted in the same carpet as the one on the main floor, although instead of blue, the walls were just white.

"So, what's my roommate like?" Lapis asked the first thing she thought of, not wanting to walk in complete silence.

"It's sort of hard to explain what she's like, she's a self-proclaimed nerd, she's outgoing, I should tell you this since you'll be sharing a room with her, she doesn't react well to yelling," After a second, Rose added this in as an afterthought. "unless she's the one yelling."

Rose stopped talking after saying that, and Lapis was left to think of what her roommate would be like as they walked up the rest of the stairs.

When they reached the fourth floor, Rose took a key out of her pocket and unlocked a metal door that separated the stairs from the rest of the floor. "It's just a safety measure." Rose said.

Lapis followed Rose through a hallway with a pale green carpet. _I appreciate the variety._ She thought. The walls were a pale blue, just like they were on the first floor.

She followed Rose until they reached a door covered in green, alien themed stickers. "This is it." Rose said enthusiastically as she opened the door.

Lapis took in the small room, the floor was the same carpet as the hallway but instead of pale blue, the walls were white. The room was decorated symmetrically, there were two beds on opposite walls of each other, a nightstand next to each one, at the base of each bed was a dresser, and a single desk was up against the wall, between the nightstands. There were no windows. One of the beds had a bright green bedspread on it that contrasted the pale green of the carpet, posters and drawings covered the walls on that side of the room. Sitting on the bed with green bedspread was a short girl with short, blonde hair that stook up in a way that resembled a triangle.

The girl was so engrossed in the book she was reading, she didn't even notice Lapis or Rose until Rose cleared her throat. "Oh!" She hopped up from where she was sitting, running over to them, almost tripping over her feet as she did so. "Hi, Rose," Lapis noted her squeaky voice. "Hi, Lapis." The girl held out her hand. "I'm Peridot."

Lapis shook peridot's hand. "Hi. So, I guess I'm your new roommate."

Peridot smiled. "Yup, Rose told me you'd be here today. My last roommate was released and although it was nice having my own room, it was lonely. So, I'm glad we're roommates."

Lapis had sort of zoned out while Peridot was talking, she seemed _so familiar_ but Lapis could not, for the life of her, figure out where she'd seen the short girl before.

"Lapis?" Rose asked.

"Oh sorry, I just zoned out." Lapis said to Rose. She directed her question at Peridot, "Have we met before?"

Peridot had seemed taken aback by this question. "No, at least, I don't think we have."

"Okay, I guess not. You just seemed familiar."

"Well then," Rose said, interrupting their exchange. "You're all set so I guess I'll leave you two unpack all your stuff."

"Okay, bye." Lapis said.

"Bye, Rose." Peridot said.

Peridot closed the door once Rose left. "So Lapis, what're you into?"

"What am I into?"

"Yeah, like, what shows do you watch, what books do you read?"

"Nothing really, I spent most of my time drawing."

"Hm, cool. I like to draw. I'm going to go back to reading my book now, ask me if you have any questions."

"Ok, I will." After that, Lapis began unpacking her bag, all the while, racking her brain to figure out where she had seen Peridot before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since the last update. So, I'll be able to update this summer because my school let us keep the chromebooks over the summer. You can also expect more chapters because I'll be working on this story for camp nanowrimo. As always, please write any constructive criticism in the reviews, thanks.**

Lapis was lying on her side on her bed, staring at Peridot as as she read. She looked _so_ familiar, it was driving Lapis insane-or even more insane than she already was considering the fact she was a patient in a mental hospital-but she could not place where she had seen her before. She went on like this, racking her brain for the answer, for what felt like an hour but in reality was less than five minutes, when something in her brain finally connected and she shot up into a sitting position, glaring at Peridot.

"That's how I know you!"

Peridot looked at her, surprise painted all over her face. "What?" She squeaked.

"Your Jasper's cousin!"

"I-I uh," Peridot stuttered. "You should calm down, we'll get in trouble for yelling."

Lapis lowered her voice. "You're Jasper's cousin. You two used to always bully me."

"Well technically I would cower behind her as she bullied you."

"That's not the point!" Lapis struggled to keep her voice down. "The point is that you did _nothing_. You just watched, you watched as she pushed me down, embarrassed me, ugh!" Lapis stood up and walked towards the door. "I can't share a room with you." She walked out of the room, not bothering to let Peridot say anything else.

oOoOo

Not knowing where to go, Lapis went down the hall, she was walking as fast as she could without running. Not paying attention to her surroundings, she fell to the ground when she turned a corner.

"Oof"

Lapis looked who she had run into, to see a young bow with curly, dark brown hair on the floor next to her. "Uh, sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"No, it's fine, don't worry about it." He said as he stood up, holding his hand out to Lapis so he could help her up. "Are you new here?"

"Yeah, just got here today. I'm Lapis."

"I'm Steven." He smiled. "Why were you going down the hall so fast? You might want to be more careful about doing that here, I can think of a couple patients who wouldn't react so well if you ran into them."

"Oh, my roomate and I we, well, we didn't get along that well." She looked down at the floor.

"In that case I'll take you to my mom's office." Steven started walking towards the stairs.

"Wait, I thought we weren't supposed to leave the floor, and who's your mom?"

"Oh, I'm Rose's son, so people won't care as long as you're with me."

"Your her son? Does that mean you aren't a patient?"

"No, I'm not a patient. I just like to spend my time here." He said, as the walked down the stairs, still smiling.

 _Damn he's a cheery kid._ "You _like_ to spend time here?"

"Yeah, I like to spend time with my parents and I'm friends with most of the patients here." He looked at her, "By the way, who's your roommate?"

"Oh yeah, it's Peridot."

"Really? I know she's a bit stubborn and sometimes she can be a bit self absorbed, but she really is a great friend once you get to know her. I'm sure if you just spend a bit more time with her you'll be great friends."

"No, Steven, it's more than that." Lapis sighed. "We used to know each other, and it's just, I can't share a room with her. I'm here to recover, and I don't think I can do that if i have to spend more time than necessary with her. Although, I guess I should consider myself lucky that she's here and not her cousin Jasper."

"Jasper?" Lapis noticed how Steven sounded nervous when he said that. "Um, you wouldn't happen be talking about a Jasper that's really tall, has long, orangish-blond hair, very muscular?"

"Uh yeah, I am. How did you - _shit_ , is she here too?" Lapis began to panic. "God damn it. I really need to speak to Rose."

"Y-yeah we're almost there." Steven said as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

When they reached the front room, he called out to Lily, "Lily is my mom with a patient?"

"No, not at the moment."

"Okay, good. C'mon, Lapis."

They reached Rose's office and Steven knocked on the door.

"Hi Steven. Lapis?" Rose greeted when she opened the office door. "Is something wrong?"

"Um, Rose can I talk to you?" Lapis asked

"Yes, of course you can."

"Sorry Steven," Lapis looked down at him. "This is sorta something I need to talk to Rose about privately."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Steven waved, a concerned expression on his face, as he began to walk back down the hallway. "See ya, mom."

"Bye Steven." Rose waved back before turning to Lapis. "Come into my office." She held the door open for Lapis as she walked into her office and sat on the pink couch. She closed the door and sat down behind her desk before asking, "So, what's wrong? You both seemed very rushed when I opened the door."

"Well, my roommate, Peridot, and I know each other. We used to go to the same school and we weren't exactly the best of friends." Lapis explained.

"Okay, can you please specify your relationship with her?"

"Her cousin, Jasper, who apparently is here too-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I want to make sure we're thinking of the same Jasper, hold on." Rose got out of her chair and walked over to a shelf with multiple picture frames on it. The pictures in the frames of Rose with what Lapis assumed were patients. She picked up a picture of her with three girls and brought it over to Lapis. Pointing to the tall girl in the middle, she asked, "Is this her?"

"Yeah, that's her."

After putting the picture back where it was and sitting back in her chair, Rose said, "Okay, you're right. Jasper is here. Please continue where you left off."

"Well, Jasper would bother some of the quieter students, including me, and Peridot was always by her side. How Jasper treated me, it sort of, I don't know, I guess it affected me. I mean, I didn't make me any happier. I just don't think that I can share a room with Peridot."

"Okay, well, I think we should call Peridot down here and let her tell her side of the story. I've known her for a long time, and while she sometimes does lack empathy, it isn't her fault."

"Okay, we'll call her down." Lapis agreed. _It's not like it'll do any good, but lets humor her._

Rose held a button down on the phone on her desk and spoke into the speaker, "Petunia, please bring Peridot down to my office."

"Alright, Rose. I'll be there with her in just a minute." Said a voice through the other end of the line.

"Thank you." Rose said before lifting her finger off of the button. She then said to Lapis, "Petunia is one of the nurses stationed on the fourth floor, so this won't be the last time you see her."

Lapis just hummed in response. As they both sat there, waiting in silence for Peridot and Petunia, Lapis took this as an opportunity to look around Rose's office. It was easy to tell that it was Rose who decorated it. The couch Lapis was sitting on, along with many of the folders, pens, and other tools on the desk were a pastel pink. The floors, desk, and shelves were built out of a dark wood, with a white area rug covering most of the room was bright, with a large window behind Rose. The only other source of light in the room came from the cloudlike lamps covering the ceiling. Many of the shelves were home to a variety of plants, a small vase of different colored roses was sitting in the corner of Rose's desk. Other shelves held books that ranged from Shakespeare to Harry Potter to guides on different mental illnesses. The shelf that Rose had taken the picture of Jasper from was full of other picture frames; pictures of Rose with kids of all ages, some smiling, some not. The room itself was comforting.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in." Answered Rose.

Lapis watched as a young woman almost as short as Peridot opened the door. She had tan skin and black hair styled into a pixie cut. "I've brought Peridot." Peridot walked into the room, visibly nervous, and sat down on the couch, as far from Lapis as she could.

"Thanks, Petunia. You can go back to whatever you were doing."

"Alright, Rose. See you later." As Petunia closed the door, Lapis noticed how she eyed her curiously.

"Okay, Peridot, do you know why I wanted you to come to my office?"

"Yeah, I do." Peridot said, avoiding eye contact.

"Good. I want you and Lapis to talk this over." Looking at Lapis she said, "Just switching your roommate won't solve this issue. I need you two to talk this over. Lapis, I've heard your side of the story, it would be helpful if you went into more detail but we'll listen to Peridot's side of the story first. Okay?"

"Okay." Lapis and Peridot agreed.

"So, Rose, you already know this but Jasper sort of forced me to hang out with her. Since we were the same age our parents encouraged it and since we shared multiple classes it wasn't easy to get away from her." Peridot started fidget with the hem of her t-shirt. "She bothered, well, not just bothered, she bullied a lot of the kids at school. She was always trying to get me to play along but for the majority of the time I would just hide behind her." She began to speak louder. "It's not like I _wanted_ to bully my classmates. I didn't have a choice."

"Okay Peridot, let's let Lapis speak now. Thank you for sharing."

Lapis didn't know what to say, she never payed attention to whether Peridot was actually harassing the students like Jasper was. She only focused on the fact that she was there, with Jasper at the time. But that didn't stop her from wondering something else. "Okay then, so you weren't partaking in the harassment of your fellow students. Why didn't you tell a teacher or guidance counselor about how Jasper was treating us?"

"Why didn't you?" Peridot asked.

"What?"

"I said, Why didn't you? Why didn't _you_ talk to a teacher or guidance counselor?"

"Because-because...I don't know, because I couldn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I was scared! Okay? I was scared, just like how I was scared to talk to _anyone_ about how shitty I was feeling, and In case you were wondering, I'm still feeling pretty shitty, which is why I'm here." Lapis stopped suddenly, realising that she had stood up sometime during her outburst she slowly sat back down on the couch.

"Okay, well I'm sorry about forcing that out of you, but you basically answered your own question." Peridot said. "I didn't tell anyone because I was scared. What would our parents say, what would the faculty say, when I accused the star of the football team to be a bully?"

"Well crap." Lapis let out a halfhearted laugh. "Guess I never realised that others were scared about that type of shit too."

"Lapis," Both girls looked over to Rose. They had been so engrossed in their rants they had almost forgotten she was their. "I'm glad that you're beginning to understand each other's side of the story, but could you please watch your language?"

"Ha, yeah sorry 'bout that." Lapis began to laugh, but she stopped short when she remembered something important. "Um, so there's still one other issue now that I'm not _as_ pissed off-sorry Rose-at Peridot. What about Jasper?"

"Oh, yes. I'll make sure you two are never grouped together and that she has no reason to be near you. Usually, in a situation like this I would want you to talk it over with her like you and Peridot did. But Jasper is...hard to reason with. I already have to keep her separated from certain patients." Rose sighed. "At this point it's just easier on the patients and me if we just keep her separated from them."

"Does she do what you tell her?" Lapis asked.

"Yes, for the most part. She'll follow directions if she's at risk of having any of her privileges taken away."

"It's true." Peridot spoke up. "At first she still tried to hang around me, but Rose noticed how uncomfortable it was making me and got her to keep a distance."

"Okay, good, that works, it'll be fine." Lapis said, mostly in an attempt to convince herself that it would, in fact, be fine.

-"Great." Rose smiled. "Do you think you'll be able to share a room with Peridot?"

She still didn't completely forgive Peridot, but seeing her side of things, she didn't hate her. "Yeah, I can share a room with her."

"Really?" Peridot asked, eyes wide. "Because I understand if you still wouldn't want to…"

"Really, it's fine. Sharing a room with you won't be as awful as I thought when I first came down here." Lapis joked.

"Okay girls, I'll have to ask you to leave. I have a private session that I need to finish preparing for. If there's anything else you need help with you can either come down here, speak to Greg, or speak to Peony."

"Alright, bye Rose." Peridot said as she stood up from the couch.

"Thanks." Lapis said and waved goodbye as she followed Peridot out of the room.

After Lapis closed the door behind them, Peridot spoke. "Listen, Lapis, I really am sorry. I don't want you to think I just said that stuff because Rose was there."

Lapis held her hand up, signaling Peridot to stop talking. "I said it's fine. I understand now. You were just as scared as I was. Plus, you guys are family, and I'm sure that made it even worse for you. Most of my anger was for Jasper but I was directing it at you. How about we leave it at us both being cowards."

Peridot let out a small laugh. "Yeah, that's fair." She began walking back to their room, away from Rose's door. "We should go back now, it's almost time for lunch."


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back with chapter four! The email issue is all solved and I can start updating again. Yay! Enjoy the chapter.**

Lapis had followed Peridot to the cafeteria on the second floor. As they walked through the hallways she looked at way they were decorated, the carpet and walls were the same as the fourth floor but the walls were decorated with art that must have been made by the patients of that floor and many of the doors had stickers and other such decorations on them.

Noticing how Lapis was looking at everything, Peridot explained, "It's decorated much more kid friendly down here. Everyone is allowed to customise their doors but the younger kids go _crazy_ for it, pun intended."

She and Lapis both quietly laughed at that. "Yeah, I noticed that some of the doors were decorated on the fourth floor, like yours."

"Yeah, you can probably tell but I like aliens. Sorry, if you don't think they exist but anyone who is close minded enough to believe that earth is the only planet that can sustain life when space is basically infinite, is just plain dumb."

"Yeah, aliens definitely exist." Lapis agreed.

"Hey Peridot, recruiting more people for your alien cult?" A voice half asked, half yelled from behind them.

"For your information, it's not a cult." Peridot pouted as she and Lapis turned towards the source of the voice. "It's just an club I've been trying to start."

The source of the voice was a short girl with long, lavender colored hair. Throwing her arm around Peridot's shoulder, she said, "Who's this?"

"This is Lapis, she's my new roommate. Lapis, this is Amethyst." Peridot introduced the two girls. "Amethyst is my cousin, Jasper's younger sister. Don't worry, though. She's much nicer than Jasper."

"You've got that right." Amethyst laughed. "But seriously, you know Jasper?"

"Yeah, we don't exactly have the best history though." Lapis said.

"That's okay. No one has a good history with Jasper." Amethyst joked. "Are you guys going down to the cafeteria?"

"Yup, it's Lapis' first day here so I'm showing her the way."

"Well then, welcome to the family."

"Thanks." _I definitely like her better than Jasper._ Lapis thought.

"Let's go. Everyone else is already there." Amethyst said.

"Everyone else?" Lapis asked.

"Yeah, there's three other girls, you'll meet them once we get there." Peridot answered.

Lapis trailed behind Peridot and Amethyst for the rest of the walk to the cafeteria, watching the two girls as they bantered with each other.

When they finally reached the cafeteria Amethyst held the door open for them. "M'ladies." She said, giggling.

"We always sit by the window." Peridot explained, leading Lapis to a table that was, in fact, by a window. "Hey, guys." She greeted the three girls that were already sitting at the table.

They all greeted Peridot and Amethyst, curiously watching Lapis as she sat down next to Peridot at the end of the table.

"This is Lapis, today's her first day at the hospital." Peridot introduced her, followed by a chorus of all the girls, except for Amethyst, saying hello. "Lapis, This is Pearl," Peridot pointed to a skinny girl with a strawberry blonde pixie cut. "Ruby," She pointed to a short girl with an afro. "And Sapphire." She pointed to the girl with long, pale blue hair and bangs that covered her eyes.

"It's nice to meet you guys." Lapis said.

"They'll call us up by our tables for food." Peridot explained. They're all assigned numbers. We're sitting at table three. The reason you're a patient here can also affect the food they give you. They have a list of people who need to be fed different foo-" She continued to explain, but was cut off when the door to the cafeteria opened and a tall, muscular girl walked in. "Crap, it's Jasper. Uh, Lapis, just don't make yourself too visible."

Deciding that she didn't want to confront Jasper, Lapis slouched in her seat, using Peridot as cover and they both watched as Jasper sat at a table on the other side of the room, not paying attention to either of them.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Peridot said, "She won't be able to see you from where she's sitting. You can sit up."

Sapphire spoke up, "She'll know you're here eventually, everyone has group therapy together at seven o'clock. Even before then, there's no guarantee she won't see you around."

"I know, but for now, I'm fine with prolonging the inevitable. I'm not gonna confront her unless I need to." Lapis said as she sat back up.

"Smart." Pearl commented.

"Table three, go up and get your food." A nurse that Lapis recognised as Petunia said as she walked by their table.

Lapis stood up and followed the other girls to the counter to get their food, still using Peridot as cover. Copying the others, Lapis took a tray from the stack of them and waited at the counter as their meals were placed on the trays. The food seemed fine, it was just a hamburger and fries, it didn't look much better than the food she was served at school but it didn't look much worse either.

Once they were back at the table, Lapis watched as the others ate. Ruby and Sapphire were talking to each other more than they were actually eating. Amethyst was already almost done with her food, and Peridot was eating slowly. She noticed that Pearl had a smaller portion than the other and was only picking at her food. Noticing how Lapis was watching Pearl, Peridot whispered, "She gets smaller portions of food because she gets overwhelmed if a portion is too big."

"Oh. Does that have something to do with why she's here?" Lapis whispered back.

"It's not really my place to tell you, but yeah, it does. Listen though, since today is your first day, in group therapy Rose is going to have everyone who wants to, tell you about why they're here. It's not mandatory to talk about it but she encourages it so most people do. Also, make sure you eat most of your food, the nurses keep track of patients who don't eat enough."

"Thanks for the tip." Lapis said, eating a fry.

oOoOo

Lapis walked alongside Peridot as they made their way to the library where the group therapy would be taking place.

"Rose, will first have you introduce yourself and if you're comfortable with it she'll have you explain why you're here." Peridot explained as they walked. "She'll then have everyone else in the group introduce themselves and explain why they're here. It's a bit awkward but I recommend explaining. Almost everyone does and if people know why you're here then they'll be less likely to do something that might trigger a negative response from you."

"Okay then, I'll take your advice." Lapis complied.

Once they reached the library, Lapis held the door open for Peridot then followed her to the middle of the room where a circle of chairs was set up. Peridot sat down with Amethyst on her right so Lapis sat down on Peridot's left.

She watched silently as other patients made their way into the room and sat in the other chairs. She recognized some of them from lunch, others she didn't. There weren't enough patients to fill up the circle so some chairs were left empty. She waited anxiously for Jasper to walk into the room.

"She's here." Peridot mumbled.

Lapis looked back to the door to see Jasper walking in. She tried to turn back around before Jasper noticed it was her, but she could see her staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Trying to make it seem like she wasn't looking at her, Lapis continued to watch Jasper out of the corner of her eye, and a glance at Peridot showed Lapis that she was doing the same. They both watched as she sat at a chair across the circle from them.

"Should I just ignore her?" Lapis whispered to Peridot.

"I don't-" Peridot began to say, but was interrupted when Rose walked through the door.

"Hi, everyone." Rose said.

A chorus of teens saying, "Hi, Rose." Repeated after her as she sat in the chair to Lapis' left.

"You all have probably noticed but we have a new member." She gestured to Lapis, then quietly said, "Lapis, introduce yourself."

"I'm Lapis." she said.

"And what are you here for?" Rose asked her.

"Oh, um, I'm here because I have depression."

"Thank you. Now you all know how it works, Peridot, please start."

"Hi, you already know me, but I'm Peridot and I'm here because I have PTSD." Even though she encouraged it, Lapis noticed how nervous Peridot looked when telling her why she was here.

"Sup, I'm Amethyst and I have ADHD but I'm really here for my low self-esteem that's caused by it." She said, leaning back in her chair.

"We usually wouldn't admit someone _just_ because the have ADHD," Rose began.

" _But_ mental issues are very common in my family and because of my low self-esteem Rose thought it would be better to admit me to the hospital." Amethyst finished for her.

"Yes, exactly." Rose said. "Okay, Pearl?"

Pearl smiled at Rose. "Hi, Lapis. You know my name, but not what I'm here for. I'm here for OCD and anorexia, but mostly for the anorexia. Both are getting better though. I still find food disgusting but I've managed to gain weight since I've come here." Lapis noticed how Pearl looked at Rose, like she was awaiting praise of some sort, which she received.

"And you know that we are all very proud." Rose praised.

 _That explains her behavior in the cafeteria and why she's so skinny._ Lapis thought.

"Hi, I'm Ruby and I'm here for separation anxiety and anger issues." Ruby said. "Don't worry though, my anger issues aren't that bad, I just...lose my temper sometimes."

"Especially if she's separated from Sapphire." Peridot mumbled. Although Lapis was pretty sure no one else heard her.

 _They are pretty cute together._ Lapis thought.

"I'm here for separation anxiety and schizophrenia." Sapphire said, then she laughed, "In case you couldn't tell, Ruby and I have separation anxiety about each other.

"What can I say? We're inseparable." Ruby shrugged.

"Yes, and although both Ruby's anger issues and your schizophrenia are getting under control, you separation anxiety is not." Rose sighed. "Lars?"

"Hey, Lapis. I'm Lars and I'm here because my parents caught me doing drugs." He was leaning back in his chair, eyes closed and not bothering to open them.

"Hello, I'm Jamie and I have MPD, or multiple personality disorder. _Technically_ it's not curable but being here has helped me get it under control."

"Hey, babe. I'm Kevin and I'm here for alcoholism although some people say I'm here because I'm an 'asshole'."

"Kevin, Language." Rose said sternly.

The girls to Lapis' right giggled and Peridot whispered to Lapis, "He really is an asshole though, I would suggest keeping your distance from him."

Lapis was about to tell Peridot how she could tell he was an asshole when she realised Jasper was up next and she tensed up.

Jasper smiled at her, but Lapis didn't think it was meant as friendly. "Hi, Lapis. I'm Jasper. I'm here for anger issues too. You probably already know this but I don't exactly get along with others that well."

Before Jasper could say anything else, Rose began speaking again. "Thank you for sharing everyone. I know that none of like it very much. Now, moving on, let share a bit more. Has anyone had any issues today that they would like to share?"

For a few moments, they all stayed quiet, until Sapphire raised her hand, "I had a vision earlier this morning but I was able to stay calm. It was bad but I remembered that it wasn't real."

"That's great, Sapphire. Remember to tell a nurse if you have a vision, and Ruby, remember to try and get a nurse as soon as you can tell that she's having a vision." Looking around the room, Rose added, "That goes for anyone who notices she's having one. Anyone else?"

When no one else said anything Rose called on Lapis. "So Lapis, how are you you feeling about being here?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It's fine. Most of the people I've met so far are nice."

"Well I'm glad you think it's fine." Rose smiled as she looked at the clock, "Introductions ran a bit longer than I thought so as long as you all go back to your rooms, you can leave."

Another chorus of unenthusiastic 'yay' rang through the group of patients as they began to stand up from the chairs.

"Lapis." Said a gruff voice from behind Lapis.

"Oh, shoot." Peridot said.

Lapis turned around to see Jasper only a few feet away from her. "Hi, Jasper." Was all she said.

"Funny seeing you here. Are you surprised to see me here?" Jasper asked as she put her hands in her pockets, but leaving her thumbs sticking out.

 _Surprised is an understatement._ Lapis thought. "Yeah, although I guess I now know why you weren't in school anymore." She said.

"Classes are easier here, I will admit. The downside is that everyone here is fucking weak. Although I guess that explains why you're here." She laughed.

"What? That's not-"

"Jasper, I think it's time for you to go back to your room." Rose said as she walked up to the two girls.

"Yes, ma'am." Jasper muttered as she walked away.

Once Jasper had left the room Lapis relaxed. "Thank you, Rose."

"Don't mention it. What I do want you to mention, though, is when she's bothering you."

"I don't think she even noticed me!" Peridot laughed triumphantly as she walked out of what appeared to have been her hiding place behind a rather large stack of books. "At least there's a few advantages that make being short worth it."

"Well, as someone with an average height I can't make use of hiding behind a stack of books." Lapis sulked.

Chuckling, Rose said, "All jokes aside, I'll always be able to help you if have issues with another patient."

"Rose!" Called Pearl from the other side of the room. "I'm going to borrow these books." She gestured to a stack of books on the ground.

"I'm going to go bring those to the desk to check them out for her. I'm certain she's going over the five-book limit, but I know she'll manage to carry those out of here. She may seem frail but she's strong." Rose laughed as she walked over to Pearl.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go back to our room. Coming, Lapis?" Peridot asked.

"Yeah, I'll go back too." Lapis agreed. Once they were walking down the hall, Lapis said " Oh my god, I never want to talk to Jasper again, I mean, I've always felt that way but she kept talking about how she's stronger than everyone here. She wasn't even trying to hide how confident she was."

"Yeah," Peridot groaned. "She's always like that. Except for when she's near Rose. She views herself as stronger and more capable as everyone here besides Rose. She doesn't view Rose as stronger than her though, she views her as an equal."

"All bark and no bite?" Lapis asked. "She has changed a bit I guess."

"No, she's had her fair share of fights." Peridot shook her head. "She hasn't really changed. She's smart though, she knows when the fight isn't worth the consequences. She'll follow the rules but only if it will benefit her in some way. She's a huge suck-up. Most of the nurses know that it's an act but some love her."

"Yeah, that sounds like her." Lapis said as they reached their room. "She was always like that at school."

"Yeah, she acted like that at home too." Peridot mumbled.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that. What'd you say?"

"Nothin'."


	5. Chapter 5

**Yo, it's update time! Honestly my update schedule is so irregular I could have gone on the hiatus with out telling you guys and it might not have made a difference (: Oh well, enjoy the chapter.**

"Lapis, wake up." said Peridot as she shook Lapis' shoulder. "You need to take your medicine."

"What medicine?" Lapis asked as she rolled over so she could face Peridot.

"Peony's waiting at the door. A Lot of patients need to take medicine to lessen the symptoms of their illnesses." Peridot gestured to a nurse waiting outside the door with a cart of medication.

"Okay, I'm getting up." Lapis said as she got out of her bed and walked over to the door where Peony was still waiting.

"Good morning, Lapis." Peony greeted as she handed two pills to Lapis. "You'll need to take two of these every morning. There are consequences if we find out you haven't been taking them. Do you need water to swallow them?"

"No, I'm fine without it." Lapis said before popping the pills into her mouth and swallowing them.

"Okay then, thanks. See you tomorrow morning." as she wheeled the cart of medication to the neighboring room.

"Yeah, see you." Lapis said as she watched Peony wheel the cart of medication to the neighboring room. Turning to Peridot, she asked, "So, you don't need to take any pills to keep you sane?"

"No, it's not like that. Because of some stuff that happened in my past I get panic attacks and other shit like that when certain things happen. Rose said she'll start giving medication if it gets worse."

"Oh, sorry but I don't know much about other mental illnesses."

"Don't worry 'bout it. Most people don't" Peridot responded. "You learn a lot about them while you're here." As she pulled a set of clothing out of her dresser, she changed the subject. "Do you want me to show you where the showers are? We still have half an hour until breakfast and most of the girls wait until after dinner so they can get some more sleep so it won't be very busy."

"Yeah, sure. My hair's a bit oily and I'd rather go when there aren't a lot of girls there."

"Oh yeah, another thing," Peridot continued. "Jasper takes her showers at night as well so we won't run into her if we go now."

"Heh, that's definitely a bonus."

oOoOo

"So Lapis," Pearl asked as she pushed around the food on her plate with her fork, "why'd your parents send you here?"

"What do you mean?" Lapis asked as she neglected her own lunch. "I told everyone during group therapy that I have depression."

"That's not what I mean. Did your parents notice, a guidance counselor, or did it get so bad you tried to kill yourself?"

"Oh, I uh, I tried to kill myself." Lapis admitted, noticing how the other girls at the table quieted as they waited for her answer. "My parents were clueless until a couple weeks ago when they got the call from the hospital."

"How'd you do it?" Amethyst asked.

"Does anyone want to go to the library after lunch?" Peridot asked

"I'll go, I need to return some of the books I borrowed yesterday." Pearl said.

"Lapis, you should come too."

"Okay, I will." She agreed, thankful at the way the smaller girl changed the subject.

oOoOo

"What do you like to read, Lapis?" Peridot asked as she and Lapis walked through the the short rows of bookcases, leaving Pearl at the front desk where she was returning the books she had borrowed.

"Nothing really, I've never been much of a reader."

"That's right, you mentioned that when we first met."

"Oh, I guess I did."

"You said you like to draw though, right?"

"Yeah, mostly landscape portraits of the ocean, lakes, that kind of stuff." Lapis explained. "What about you, do you like to draw?"

"Yup, mostly just fan art for Camp Pining Hearts though."

"Camp pining hearts?" Lapis asked. "Never heard of it."

"You've never heard of it?" Peridot exclaimed. "It's like the best show ever. Do the names Percy or Pierre ring any bells?"

"Nope, like I said, I don't watch much TV." Lapis shrugged, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Well that's changing." Peridot said as she pulled a book off of one of the shelves, Lapis just noticing the stack of book in the small girl's arms. "Any books you want to get? 'Cause I have everything I need, and Pearl's already left without us."

"No," Lapis shook her head. "I think I'm just going to back to our room."

"Okay. Oh no, what time is it?" Peridot looked to the clock on the wall. "It's almost one thirty" She cried out. "I'm going to be late for my private session. Here," Peridot passed off the stack of books in her arms to Lapis. "can you check these out and bring them to our room for me? Thanks."

And with that, Peridot had run out of the library, leaving Lapis alone with her books.

Lapis carried the books-slightly amazed by how the small girl had been able to carry them on her own-to the desk where the librarian sat to check them out.

As she set the books on the desk she noticed the librarian's nameplate on the desk that showed her name was Iris.

"Aliens, huh?" Iris asked, obviously amused. Until Iris had pointed it out, Lapis hadn't noticed that all of the books were on aliens.

"No, Peridot asked me to check them out for her."

"Ooh," Iris smiled. "that explains it. I've never met a girl as obsessed with them as she is."

Lapis hummed in agreement as she picked up the books.

The walk back to the room was uneventful, Lapis took pleasure in the moment of quiet.

As she walked into the room they shared she left the books on Peridot's bed and layed down on her own.

Her private session wasn't until 2:30-right after Peridot's-so she had some time to waste.

There was nothing Lapis felt like doing, none of the current options interested her. Then she remembered the homework from the classes she took this morning.

No matter how much she did not want to do it, Peridot had warned her that if her grades got below a certain number she would lose privileges. Obviously, that was not something Lapis wanted to happen.

The homework took her a while to finish. She had just put it away when Peridot walked into their room.

"Hey, Rose told me to send you down for your session." Peridot told her.

"Okay, I'll go down now."

"See ya later." Peridot waved.

oOoOo

"How was your day Lapis?" Rose asked as Lapis walked into her office.

"It was fine."

"That's good. Have a seat." Rose gestured to the pink couch in front of her desk. "Are you and Peridot getting along?"

"Yeah, it's better. I think I overreacted a bit." Lapis replied. That was true, when she realised how she knew Peridot she panicked.

"It's completely okay to overreact a little bit. You need to be able to get your emotions out instead of just bottling them up. Thank you for talking it over with her, she really is a nice girl once you get to know her." Rose smiled.

"Mhm." Lapis fiddled with the fabric of her skirt.

"Tell me about your day. How have you spent it so far?"

"Peridot woke me up so I could take my medicine, took a shower, went to math and english class." Lapis noticed Rose writing something down as she spoke. "After lunch I went to the library with Pearl and Peridot. Peridot realised she was going to be late for her session so she gave me the books she picked and then ran down here. I checked them out for her and went back to my room to do homework."

"Doesn't sound like a bad day. Did you have any trouble on the homework?"

"No, it's the same stuff I was doing in school."

"Good, make sure you let someone know if you're having trouble with the work. What classes do you have later?"

"Um, I think I have history and science."

"Those were always my favorite classes when I was in school. What about you?"

"Nothing really." Lapis shrugged. "I never found any of it very interesting."

Rose continued to write as she spoke. "Any class you hate?"

"I never liked science very much. Well, I did like marine biology, but that's not a course at school." Lapis looked up at Rose instead of the loose thread she had been focusing on before.

"I always loved biology too. I loved to learn about living things, especially humans. My teachers always thought I'd become a scientist. But I had more interest in the brain than the body."

"Is that why you became a therapist?"

"Yes...but there were other reasons too." Rose changed the subject. "How are you getting along with the others?"

"We're getting along fine. Ruby and Sapphire are pretty cute together."

"I agree, when they first came here they refused to leave each other. They've gotten so much better though. They still hate to be separated but if we put them in different groups for activities they stay calm."

"Is it okay for you to talk about the other patients to me?" Lapis asked.

"Oh." Rose chuckled. "Yes, normally I would avoid it, but I feel like a proud parent when I talk about how the patients have improved. I know Ruby and Sapphire don't mind though, I've asked them about it. This isn't the first time I have talked about it to another patient."

"I guess it's fine then."

"Will you mind when I start to brag about the way you've gotten better?" Rose asked.

" _If_ I get better." Lapis crossed her arms.

" _When_ you get better." Rose smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

"Yo, Lapis." Amethyst waved from her seat to the right of Peridot.

"Hey." Lapis greeted as she sat down at Peridot's left.

"Excited for your first music class with Greg?" Amethyst asked.

"Sure, it seems better than math class."

"Did you know that when he was in his twenties he was a professional musician?" Peridot asked.

"Wow, really?"

"Yup. He wasn't super famous but he played a lot of shows. He said he met Rose after playing a show here, in Beach City. Apparently she was the only one who came." Amethyst laughed.

"What can I say, Beach City used to have a much smaller population. People didn't appreciate the art that was my music." Greg shrugged, surprising the girls who didn't notice him sneak up behind them. Holding his hand out to Lapis, he said, "We haven't properly met yet."

"Hey, nice to meet you." Lapis said as she shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you to." Greg smiled before handing a folder to Lapis. "This is has the notes you've missed out on, we've just started a new unit so there isn't much you've missed out on.

"Okay then, now that you have what you need, it's time to start class." Greg said as he walked to the front of the room. "Hey, everybody."

"Yo Greg, since we have a new class member you should show us videos of your performances!" Amethyst enthusiastically suggested. The collective murmurs of agreement from the other patients in the room showed that she wasn't the only one who thought that was a good idea.

"C'mon Amethyst, we can't spend the whole time watching my old videos everytime we have a new patient. Teaching you guys is apart of my job." Greg argued, although he didn't seem mad.

Amethyst just smiled more as she stated her argument, "What's gonna happen if you don't do your job, are you going to get fired?" Lapis found herself amused at the way Amethyst scrunched her face into an expression of fake concern for Greg's job. "Because, it's not like you're the co-owner of the hospital, or married to the other owner."

Greg sighed and raised his hand in defeat. "Fine Amethyst, you've got me there." He walked over to the computer on his desk and turned on the projector. "Y'know, I don't know why I even bother trying to argue with you about these things," Lapis heard him mumble, "This happens every time there's a new patient and I always give in."

As the projector started up, he turned off the lights and when it finished, Lapis saw the thumbnail of a Youtube video. The video was called 'Just a Comet' and when Greg hit play she was faced with a younger version of him. This version didn't have a beard and still had all of the hair on his head.

She was impressed, to say the least. It was a pretty professional music video, and the lyrics seemed to be well thought out.

When the video ended the students clapped politely as Greg turned the lights back on.

"So Lapis, what did you think?" Greg asked from his position at the front of the room.

"It was good, I liked the lyrics." Lapis answered. It was the truth after all, she wasn't just saying that to spare his feelings.

"Well I'm glad you did. Funny story," The class-except for Amethyst, who seemed excited to here the story-groaned and Lapis heard someone behind her say 'here we go again', to which Greg replied, "You guys asked for this."

Peridot leaned over and whispered into Lapis' ear, "Get ready for a long story."

"So, as I was saying," He continued, "'this was filmed at my concert in Beach City, the one I met Rose at."

"And the one that no one else came to." Called out a patient that Lapis didn't know the name of, but had seen in the cafeteria earlier that day.

Greg laughed, "Yup, the concert that only one person came to. She had walked over to the table that my manager was selling merchandise at and bought a shirt. I decided to hop off the stage to meet her. I mean, who wouldn't want to meet the beautiful woman that was the sole attender of their concert." Greg smiled at the memory. "My manager left to hook up with some girl he met in town and Rose and I ended up talking for a couple of hours. Eventually she needed to go home, so we said goodbye and parted ways.

"I hadn't wanted to say goodbye though. I knew, as I watched her walk away, that I was in love." He blushed as he said that. "The next morning, as my manager and I were getting ready ready to head off to the next town, I saw her walking down the street. I dropped the amp I was holding-I still regret dropping it instead of putting it on the ground like a normal person-and ran over to her. I asked her out and when she agreed I told her that I would be back to Beach City in a month.

"The tour would be over in a week and I spent the rest of that month sorting everything out at home-I had still lived with my parents back then and had been looking for an excuse to move out-and looking for an apartment in beach city. My manager was mad that I didn't want to go on another tour but I assured him that I'd still be writing music. I got a job at a carwash and Rose and I started dating." Greg was grinning from ear to ear, clearly he loved talking about how he and Rose met.

Lapis thought it was pretty cute too, the way Greg acted as he talked about his relationship with Rose. She had never been the type of person who dreams about meeting their soulmate, but falling in love was far from being a revolting thought.

Lapis looked to Peridot, "How often does he tell this story?" She asked. "You guys are acting like it's a regular occurrence."

"Almost every time there's a new patient. It gets boring listening to the story over and over, but it's a great time waster. And you can probably tell, but Greg's a big softy, he's cool too, though. He loves to tell this story." Peridot explained. "Most of the class is sick of it by now, Pearl especially," Peridot laughed. "Ruby and Sapphire love it, they're suckers for a good love story."

"Ah, that explains it." Lapis pretended to rub tears out her eyes. "You're just using me as way to waste time in class instead of doing your work, I see how it is." She had to try her best to keep from laughing. "I guess we were never really friends in the first place."

Peridot, who had caught onto what Lapis was doing, played along. "Damn, Lazuli. You've realized my true intentions. Now I will need to come up with a new way to waste time."

"Okay, girls. Now that the Peridot's true intentions have been revealed, you need to complete this worksheet." Greg said, placing a paper for each of them on the table.

"Okay." The girls said, quieting down and starting the work.

"Just tell me if you need any help," Peridot whispered once Greg had gone back to his desk. "It's simple stuff, but since you haven't been here…"

Lapis shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Thanks, though. I'll tell you if I do."

Peridot smiled and said, "M'kay." before returning to her own worksheet.

Lapis appreciated this shorter girl's offer, but it really was simple stuff. Mostly just labeling beats, measures, or different notes. It was the type of stuff she learned in elementary school.

She was glad she knew the work, she wouldn't want to put pressure on Peridot or make her feel like she's supposed to help her just because she's new.

Although, said a voice from the back of her head, what if Peridot is only acting like your friend because you're new. Maybe she's just being polite and she doesn't actually want to be your friend. What if Rose put her up with it? Maybe-Lapis shook her head a bit in an attempt to stop the path those thoughts had been taking. She was not going to think about that, not when she finally had someone that actively payed attention to her for no reason other that the fact that she wanted to.

There was no reason for Lapis to believe that Peridot had any ulterior motives behind becoming friends with her.

She knew that it wasn't rational, but that voice in the back of her head stayed there. As Lapis worked, that voice continued to make her have doubts that no matter how irrational they were. She didn't know how to make it stop.

oOoOo

"Lapis, are you awake?" Asked a hushed voice from the other side of the dark room.

Lapis sighed, "Peridot, lights-out was twenty minutes ago. What do you need?"

"I was just thinking, what will you do when you leave the hospital?" Lapis heard the rustling of sheets and assumed Peridot had rolled over to face her.

Rolling over so they were facing each other-although it was too dark and they were too far away to see each other properly-Lapis thought for a moment. "I don't know." she answered honestly. "I mean, isn't it more of a question of if I leave, rather than when."

Lapis could just barely make out the movement as Peridot shook her head in disagreement. "No, don't think like that."

"Okay then. Let's say that my depression does get better and I'm released. I'd probably go back to school, graduate and then go to college. Nothing special."

"What would you major in?"

"Absolutely no idea."

"Then why go to college in the first place," Lapis could hear how confused Peridot was from her answer. "If there's nothing specific that you want to do?"

"It just seemed like the logical thing to do after highschool."

"My mom used to tell me that if I plan on going to college without a proper profession in mind then it would just waste everyone's time."

"That...doesn't sound right." Lapis said. "I mean, tons of colleges let you go as undecided. If they felt it was a waste then they probably wouldn't add it as an option. As long as you pay tuition and keep your grades high enough to keep your scholarship then I doubt they care."

Peridot went silent "Oh, okay. I guess that sound right." She went silent for another moment. "I'm going to go to bed...I'll talk to you in the morning." She said, followed by the sounds of her sheets rustling as she turned to face the opposite direction from Lapis.

"M'kay, sweet dreams." Lapis said, a bit surprised at Peridot's sudden end to the conversation, before closing her own eyes, hoping to fall asleep sometime soon.

oOoOo

Lapis was leaning over Peridot, shaking her shoulders as she tried to wake her up. "Peridot, c'mon. It's just a bad dream."

She had woken up to the shorter girl flailing in her bed, her movements restricted by the blanket tangled around her.

All of a sudden Peridot was sitting up so fast Lapis had to hop back to avoid their heads colliding with each other.

Peridot was shaking as she rushed to untangle the blanket from her legs.

"Peri, are you-" Lapis was cut off, unable to focus when Peridot had uncovered her right leg, pulling the blanket off to reveal her right leg-or most of it.

Peridot, who hadn't seemed to notice Lapis, was rolling up her sweatpants until they were over her knee, revealing that her leg didn't go much down past her knee. In place of her shin and foot was instead a stump.

"Peri…"

Peridot, now noticing Lapis' presence, whipped her head around to face her. "Lapis, I-I um…" she glanced down at her leg and rushed to cover it back up before Lapis could look at it any more. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

Lapis shook her head quickly, "No, don't apologize. What were you dreaming about?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. Can you keep my leg a secret?"

"From who?"

"Um...everyone."

"What do you mean by everyone?" Lapis asked. How could she have been so oblivious to not realize that her own roommate, whom she had been living with for almost a week, had been missing a part of her right leg.

"I don't like to reveal it to people, only Rose, Jasper, Amethyst, and the rest of the staff know." Peridot glanced at Lapis for a moment before fidgeting with the seam of her t-shirt. "I know what you're thinking, you're not oblivious."

"It's just...how could I have not have noticed?" Lapis said, more to herself than Peridot.

"I've spent the last year of my life perfecting walking with the prosthetic, I always change while you're in the bathroom and make sure that I'm under my blanket when you get back to the room at night." Peridot explained. "My last roommate didn't even notice."

Lapis looked at Peridot, at a loss for words. No matter how much Peridot explained the precautions she took, Lapis couldn't shake the feeling of how oblivious, clueless, unobservant, ignorant she had been. "I'm sorry Peri." She murmured.

"For what, not noticing something that I wanted to hide?" This time Peridot made eye contact with Lapis. "It's not exactly something I'm proud of." She looked away again. "Let's just go back to bed, okay? I'm sorry for waking you up."

Lapis shook her head, "You don't have to be. I-I want you to be able to trust me and I want to trust you too…" She told her, trailing off when she realized that she didn't know what else to say. "Good night Peri."


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning everyone." Rose greeted cheerfully as she walked into the library.

"Good morning Rose." Greeted the group of teens, most of whom were still half-asleep.

"Are you all excited for visiting day?" Rose asked as she sat in her chair at the front of the circle.

The group of teens had varying amounts of excitement in their jumble of answers.

"Same as always I guess. Well, I know your families are excited to see you." Rose smiled. "You all know the drill but I do need to repeat the rules in case any of you 'forget'. No yelling, if you have trouble getting along, tell Petunia, she can accompany you during the visit. We need to check any gifts your families give you to make sure they can not be used to harm yourself, or others, or that they are appropriate for this environment. Remember to head straight back to the library when you're done, and tell a nurse before you do."

"Is there anything anyone would like to say before we go down to the lobby?" Rose looked around the group with hope in her eyes. When no one spoke up she said, "No, okay. I'll choose then. Lapis, how are you feeling today? This is your first time seeing your parents since you first came here, after all."

"I'll be glad to see them." Lapis told her truthfully. "I've never been away from them for more than a week so this has been a bit strange for me."

Lars seemed to think this was a good time to voice his opinion, "It's a mental hospital, of course it's been strange."

A collective murmur of agreement filled the room.

"Yeah, you're right." Lapis agreed too.

oOoOo

"Hi, Mom." Lapis said as her Robin pulled her into a tight hug. "Hi, Dad." She said as Jay wrapped one arm around her in a slightly more awkward side-hug.

"How are you doing?" Robin asked as they sat in three of the seats in the corner of the room.

"I'm fine." Lapis said as she fidgeted with the hem of her tank top.

"That's good. Have you made any friends?" Her mother asked, not trying to hide how hopeful she was for a positive answer.

"Uh, yeah. Over there," Lapis pointed across the room where Peridot, Amethyst, and Jasper were talking to a man. "the girl in the green t-shirt, her name is Peridot. She's my roommate. And the girl in the purple shirt, that's her cousin Amethyst."

"Oh I'm so glad you've made a couple of friends." Robin poked Jay's arm. "Isn't that great, Jay?"

Jay looked up from where he was staring at his hands, but still didn't make eye-contact with Lapis."Yeah, of course it is. Are you following the rules?"

"Mhm, Rose would tell you if I wasn't."

As her Robin began to tell Lapis about her week, Lapis spaced out a bit. Instead of focusing on her mother she watched the other patients.

Lars was sitting near them with his parents. As his mother handed him a paper bag Lapis managed to hear a bit of their conversation. "Sadie asked us to bring this donut for you. She says 'hi' and that she can't wait until you can come back to work. She says it's boring without you." His father said. She wondered who Sadie was.

Lapis noticed that Kevin wasn't around and she didn't see anyone that looked like they could be related to him either. She couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing.

Peridot, Amethyst and Jasper were still talking to that man, none of them seemed especially happy to be there. That, mixed with what Lapis had found out the night before, shrouded the seemingly straightforward girl in mystery.

Lapis forced herself to look away from them before anyone noticed she was staring and instead focused on Pearl. She was talking to a woman who looked even more prim and proper than Pearl herself. Lapis decided that the woman must be Pearl's mother.

Ruby and Sapphire were sitting together with a group of four other people. An older man who looked like Sapphire and a younger girl who looked like her as well but with shorter, red hair. The other two were girls who looked almost exactly like Ruby.

"Lapis?" Jay asked.

"Huh? Sorry, I spaced out." Lapis sat up a bit, trying to seem like she was paying more attention.

She noticed the way Robin and Jay exchanged a look when she said that, but she couldn't exactly decipher the meaning behind the look.

"What were you saying?" She asked, trying to move along the conversation.

"I was wondering what the classes here are like." Jay said.

"Oh, well, they're not to hard, it's basically the same stuff I was learning at school but we're going through everything at a slower rate. It's less stressful."

"That's good." Her father nodded. "Make sure you keep your grades up."

"But not at the expense of your health." Robin added quickly. "Make sure you ask for help if you need it."

"I know, I know." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Trust me, they make sure we aren't doing anything that might harm ourselves physically _or_ mentally. Don't worry Dad, I'll keep my grades up, if I don't I'll get privileges taken away. They want us to keep up good habits."

"Good. Is there anything else you want to talk to us about?" Her mother asked, once again hopeful.

Lapis shrugged. "Not really."

"Oh, okay." Robin's smile faltered a bit. "Well, if you don't want to talk anymore we can leave I guess." She looked at Lapis as if silently begging her to protest.

"I mean, you can stay if you want to," Lapis murmured when she noticed how her mother was looking at her. "I just don't have anything else to talk about so It might be boring."

"No, it's okay." Her father interrupted. "We won't impose. It looks like your friends are saying goodbye to their father anyway, you'd probably rather hang out with them." He pointed to where Peridot, Amethyst, and Jasper were saying bye to that man.

"Alright, I'll see you soon." She said, wondering if her father only said that because he didn't want to stay.

The three of them stood up and hugged as her parents gathered their things. "We love you Lapis." Her mother said.

"I love you guys too." Lapis waved as her parents walked out of the visiting center.

Once her parents were gone, Lapis noticed that the man that Peridot, Amethyst, and Jasper were talking too had left as well. She waited until Jasper left to walk over to them. "Hey guys." She greeted as she reached the two short girls.

"Yo, Lapis." Amethyst said.

"How were your parents?" Peridot asked.

"Awkward at best. Although I wasn't much better." Lapis admitted as they waved to the nurse who let them out of the lobby and into the stairwell.

"To be expected." Peridot responded as the began the climb up the stairs.

"By the way, who was that man you three were talking to." Lapis asked.

"Our father." Peridot answered. "Let's go upstairs."

As the three girls began the walk back to their rooms, Lapis asked another question, "Wait, he's the father of all three of you? But you're cousins."

"He's our adoptive father." Peridot responded casually.

"Oh." Lapis went quiet. Peridot had told her that the reason she was here was because of some stuff that happened in her past, she wondered if that had anything to do with it, and if that related to her leg. "Hey how's your leg?"

Peridot looked back at her, "It's fine, you don't need to worry about it."

"Wait," Amethyst stopped and glanced from Peridot to Lapis. "She knows about your leg? I thought you wanted to keep it a secret this time."

The blonde girl shrugged, "I didn't tell her on purpose, besides it was probably unrealistic for me to think I could keep it a secret from someone I shared a room with. Right Lapis?"

Lapis didn't meet her eyes, "To be fair I didn't notice until last night."

"I told you not to beat yourself up about it."

"Yeah, I know. I can't help it." Lapis mumbled.

"It's fine." Peridot reaffirmed. "Now let's hurry back to the library, there's a book I want to find."


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning, there's spoilers to the movie Wolf Children Ame and Yuki**

"We should leave if we want to get good seats." Peridot said, looking at the small clock on the desk the girls shared.

"Huh?" Lapis looked up from the book she was reading.

"For movie night, we want to get comfortable seats. I don't want to be stuck on the floor."

"Oh, right. I forgot that was tonight." Lapis recalled the Pearl and Amethyst's debate from lunch on which movie they wanted to watch as she got out of bed and put the book down on the desk.

"What movie are we watching?"

"No idea, Petunia's in charge of movie night and she always has us vote on whichever she brings in. Most likely a comedy, horror movies and patients of a mental hospital don't mix well." Peridot shrugged as they walked through the halls. "Personally, I would prefer a documentary or something by Studio Ghibli."

"I'm assuming that 'documentary' means something on aliens, Peri?"

"Right you are, my good friend." Peridot smiled. "You know, I noticed you've been calling me Peri sometimes, I like it, it's a nice nickname."

Lapis felt her face warming from the blush creeping onto her cheeks "Oh, cool, I'm glad you do." She mumbled keeping her eyes down for the rest of the short walk to the library.

They weren't the first patients to get to the library, Lars was sitting on one of the beanbags and Pearl was sitting on one of the many cushions spread out on the floor.

Peridot lead Lapis to the beanbags, where the girls sat down.

As they waited for everyone else to arrive Peridot began to talk about what they should watch and Lapis, who honestly didn't really care about what they watched, sat back and tuned them out.

"Lapis." Lapis opened her eyes to the darkness of the library lights turned off and Peridot whispering her name and poking her shoulder. "The movie's about to start, you fell asleep."

"Oh, oops." She said as she rubbed her eyes. "What movie did you guys decide on?"

"Wolf children, it's an anime movie. Although it isn't Studio Ghibli, it's a really good movie."

"I think I've heard of that, It's the one where the college student falls in love with a werewolf, right?" She knew she had seen trailers for it.

"Yeah, that's a simplified summary though." Peridot dropped her voice to a whisper. "He won't admit it, but it's Lars' favorite movie. Watch him towards the end of it, if you're lucky you'll get to see him crying."

"Peridot, the movie's starting, please don't talk during it." Petunia scolded the short girl. Lapis muffled a laugh at the way Peridot's face turned red as she apologized to the green-eyed nurse.

The movie was definitely interesting, and Lapis made sure to keep an eye on Lars throughout it and sure enough, by the end end of the movie he was using his sleeves to discreetly wipe his eyes.

Peridot was expectantly for Lapis' reaction as Petunia turned the lights back on. "So, how did you like it?"

Lapis thought for a bit before giving Peridot her answer. "It was good, I liked how Ame and Yuki choose different paths than I expected. Like, how Yuki seemed more likely to live as a wolf because of her personality, when in reality she felt like she fit in with humans more than wolves."

"Right?' Peridot smiled, satisfied the blue-haired girl's answer. "But it also makes sense; since Yuki had more energy she fit in with the kids at school better than Ame did."

"What would you choose?"

"Huh?" Peridot dropped her smile for a second in confusion.

"Well," Lapis said, thinking about the best way to phrase her question. "if you could choose between living as a wolf or human. Which would you choose?"

"I'd live as a wolf." Lapis said without a moment of hesitation. "To be able to live in the woods without being bothered by other people and not need to worry about my future or grades or anything like that."

"I get what you mean and I've had my fair share of bad experiences with people but I'd still rather live as a human than as a wolf. I'd miss my friends and hobbies."

Lapis hugged her knees to her chest before she spoke. "I guess you're right, I'd miss my parents, and some of the people here too, but that's about it."

"As long as you have something to hold onto, think about that before you think about leaving everything behind." Peridot said quietly.

"Damn Peri, you're starting to sound like Rose with this life advice."

"Well thank you very much," Peridot said as she sat up straight. "I'll have you know that I consider Rose a huge role model in my life."

"She is?"

"Yeah, of course. Not only has she managed to create a mental hospital that has actually helped minors instead of making them feel like they're in a prison, she's also been in my life since I was born."

"Wait, really?" This was new information to Lapis. "How long have you known her?"

"Like I said, since I was born. She was basically like a sister to my mom and aunt. She was even in the hospital room when I was born. Although my other two aunts never liked her very much."

"Wait, which aunt was Amethyst and Jasper's mother?"

"That was Aunt Scarlet, she was closest to Rose. My other aunts are named Nila and Blanche. My mom is named Saffron."

"Interesting names."

"Yeah, my grandma named them after her favorite colors. Pink, white, blue, and yellow." Peridot explained with a melancholic expression. "Whenever they were together they would complain about how they could never find their names on keychains or other trinkets from gift shops."

Lapis laughed, "I feel that, dude. Anything with my name on it had to be custom-made."

"Yeah, same. You'd think my mom would learn from her experience and name me Jane or something like that. Oh well," the short girl shrugged. "it's not like I'm going to change my name just for a keychain and it's not like naming me 'Peridot' was the only time my mom screwed me over in life."

Before Lapis could ask what Peridot meant by that, Petunia began to get the teens out of their seats so they could go back to their rooms.

Neither of the girls said much as they walked back to their room, it was finally Lapis who broke the silence as they were getting into their beds. "Hey Peri?" Lapis whispered as she made herself comfortable under the blankets.

"Yeah?" Peridot answered from across the room.

"Maybe this isn't my place to ask, but what did you mean when you said that naming you Peridot wasn't the only time your mom screwed you over, does it have anything to do with your leg?"

Lapis waited for Peridots response, for a moment she didn't think she would answer at all "Yeah," She whispered, "It has something to do with my leg. I can't talk about it right now, maybe some other day."


	9. Chapter 9

The morning after movie night Peridot had awoken with a fever, her temperature never reached more than one hundred degrees, but it was enough for the doctor-who Lapis later learned was named Dr. Maheswaran-to keep Peridot in the medical wing for the next two days.

As Lapis sat alone at the usual table-although she wasn't alone, without Peridot she felt like she was. Everyone else was wrapped up in their own conversations, usually Peridot would try to include Lapis in the conversations-in the cafeteria as she ate breakfast, she thought about the conversations she and Peridot had the previous night.

There were two things bothering her.

Number one: Why did Peridot refer to her aunt Scarlet in the past tense?

Number two: Why was she so embarrassed when Peridot told her she liked the nickname 'Peri'?

She was doing her best to come up with answers to those questions.

Answers to question one included: Maybe Peridot just didn't mean anything by it, maybe she just made a mistake while talking about her. Or...maybe something happened to her aunt. Maybe she had passed away and that was why Peridot referred to her in the past tense.

Answers to question two included: Maybe she hadn't been blushing at all and her face had felt warm because she coming down with a fever too. And the other answer...well, she didn't want to consider that as an option.

Anyway, maybe Peridot had been slightly delirious due to her feverish state and maybe that was why she had brought up the nickname.

"Lapis?"

Lapis, broken away from her train of thought, looked up from the food she had been poking around her plate to see Sapphire looking at her. "Sorry, what?"

"You just looked concerned, I was wondering if you were okay." Sapphire said. "You're also quieter than usual."

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine, just a bit worried about Peridot."

"Well there's no need to be," Lapis saw Ruby glance at Sapphire when she made the next statement. "There is about a ninety seven percent chance that she will get better."

"A ninety seven percent chance...I'm sorry, but what do you mean by that?"

"Well I saw it, of course." Sapphire said as if that was completely obvious.

"You...saw it?" Lapis didn't think that this was as normal as Sapphire made it sound.

Before Sapphire could say anything else, Ruby had put a hand on her shoulder and Lapis could hear her whisper, "Hey Saph, we're going to go see Rose, Okay?"

"Okay, Ruby." Sapphire smiled and pecked Ruby on the cheek as Ruby led her away from the table and out the cafeteria doors.

Lapis noticed the concern on the faces of the girls at the table.

Tapping Pearl's hand to get her attention, she asked, "What was that?"

"Her schizophrenia...sometimes it makes her have hallucinations that she thinks are visions of the future." Pearl explained. "It's best to let Ruby and Rose take care of her when it happens."

"Isn't there medicine she can take?"

"Yeah, antipsychotics. She's pretty resistant to them. She recently started a new kind but the side effects are still affecting her, they should go away in a few days. Hopefully this time they work."

"Oh, wow. Yeah, hopefully." Lapis didn't really know what to say, before Sapphire, she had never met anyone with schizophrenia. Or, maybe she did and just didn't realize.

Lapis had been thinking about that too lately. That before coming to Beach City Mental Hospital she had never met anyone with anorexia, schizophrenia, or any sort of mental illness. But coming here made her realize that maybe she had met someone with a mental illness. Coming here made her realize how noticeable the symptoms can be when you're looking for them, but also how subtle the symptoms can be when you're not looking for them.

Peony came around the cafeteria to dismiss the patients and Lapis went straight back to her room, not bothering to go to the library with Pearl and Amethyst.

With nothing to do she layed on her bed with her arms crossed under her head. She began to regret lying down, because after she did, she couldn't get back up. There wasn't anything wrong with her body, she just couldn't bother to gather up the energy that getting out of bed required, even though it wouldn't take much effort.

Lapis almost didn't even bother to get out of bed when the clock changed to 2:25, when she would normally go downstairs for her session with Rose.

Even when she did get out of bed to go downstairs her movements were slow, taking her time getting down there. Before she left the room she combed her hair, straightened out her blankets, and made sure the lights were turned out.

On the way down she walked slowly, letting her feet drag behind her. As she walked down the stairs she held tightly onto the railing and took each step down as slowly and carefully as she could.

By the time she to Rose's office she was six minutes late.

She was surprised at how quickly Rose opened the door after she knocked on it.

"Lapis, glad you could make it." Rose greeted as she held the door open for Lapis to walk into the room. "You do know that there are consequences for being late, right?"

"I'm sorry." Lapis apologized as she sat on the couch.

"I won't do anything this time since it's the first time you've been late," Rose explained as she looked at her clock. "but please try to be on time in the future. We've already lost" Rose checked the watch on her wrist, "about eight minutes. I'm sorry about how strict this might sound but if someone doesn't follow their schedule we won't know where they are in case of an emergency, after multiple infractions a nurse might need to walk you down."

"Okay, I get it, I'll try not to be late."

"Thank you." Rose said as she sat in her own chair and pulled a notepad out of one of her drawers. "So, any particular reason why you were late?"

"No, not especially." Lapis explained, "I just didn't feel like I could get out of bed."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, I just didn't have the energy." Lapis elaborated.

"Have you been feeling tired all day or did you just feel like that all of a sudden?" Rose asked as she wrote something down on the notepad.

"I felt fine until I laid down. The only reason I even laid down was because I didn't feel like doing anything, not because I was tired. But as soon as I did I just couldn't be bothered to get up."

"Tell me when you feel like this, okay?" Rose said, still writing on the notepad. "I want to know how often you feel like this and if there is any sort of pattern."

"Okay then, I'll let you know." Lapis promised.

"Good." Rose smiled. "So, besides that, how has your day been? Vidalia said you were quieter than usual in class. That surprised me, considering the fact that art seems to be something you excel at."

"Oh," Lapis blushed at the compliment. "I guess so. Peridot usually tries to make conversation with me as we draw so without her there I guess I would be a bit quieter."

"That explains it. I'm glad you two have become such good friends, it makes the whole _situation_ from your first day here seem like ages ago, when it's barely been two weeks."

"Yeah, I'm glad too." Lapis agreed. "If I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't really have friends at school."

Rose frowned, "Can you elaborate?"

"Well, I wasn't completely alone. At lunch, I sat at the same table every day and the other kids there would sometimes include me in the conversation. And I was never picked last in gym. But there was no constant in any of it. You get what I mean?" Lapis waited until Rose nodded before she continued. "If the teacher told us to get into pairs for a project I would be with whoever didn't have a pair either. Or, on the bus, I wouldn't sit with anyone specific, just wherever there was an open seat. I got invited to a couple parties. Like i said, I wasn't completely alone.

Lapis hesitated before continuing, "I don't really know why I suddenly feet okay with telling you all of this, but I do."

"This is good." Rose said. "I want you to know that you can tell me these things, that you can trust me."

"I know," Lapis sighed. "I don't want to feel like I _need_ to tell you these things though, I want to feel like I _want_ to tell you about them."

"I agree, I don't want you to feel like talking to me is a chore." Rose told her. "And I'm glad you told me about your situation at school."

"I think the only reason I brought it up was because I was thinking about Peridot. Somehow I've managed to make a better friend at a mental hospital in two weeks that three years of being at my high school." Lapis explained.

The corners of Rose's mouth turned up in a small smile, "It's funny how life works, isn't it?"

"Yup."

oOoOo

"I'll see you later, Lapis." Rose said as Lapis walked out of her office.

Lapis just waved over her shoulder, staying silent as she spent the walk back to her room thinking about what she had told Rose.

She had never talked to anyone about her lack of friends. She didn't really think it was relevant; it didn't cause her depression-even if she had been lonely-she had never really had negative feelings about the subject.

Obviously Lapis was glad she had become friends with Peridot, it was better than being alone. But she didn't think there was much a reason to talk to Rose about it.

Maybe the openness meant she was getting better, Lapis thought. But no, she knew that wasn't the reason. She knew that two weeks wasn't long enough to make a difference. But who could say that two _years_ would make a difference. Maybe it was hopeless, maybe she should just stop trying and let herself wallow in her own self pity.

Lapis sighed, she knew that wasn't an option. If she did that the nurses would probably give her a higher dosage of Zoloft, either that or she would be stuck at the hospital until she turned eighteen, then she'd probably be moved to a hospital meant for adults and be considered a 'lost cause'.

Lapis couldn't let that happen, she couldn't keep living like this. Although that was the reason she attempted to commit suicide in the first place; She she would try to get better, for her parents sake and for her own sake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: We're ten chapters in! Yay! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the story so far, I love reading them. Enjoy the chapter.**

She had been eating breakfast when Peridot had come through the cafeteria doors and after two days without her, Lapis had to admit she was a bit surprised to see her.

As they ate together, Peridot talked about how she spent the past two days-she mostly slept, read, and took whatever medicine Dr. Maheswaran told her to take-and Lapis told Peridot about how she had spent the past two days.

Although Peridot didn't seem like she noticed anything strange between them, Lapis felt awkward, as if the past two days had disturbed the course of their friendship. Just as Lapis had begun to feel more comfortable around her, the routine was broken and she had quickly become used to spending her free time alone.

Peridot waved her hand in front of Lapis in an attempt to get the blue haired girl's attention, "Lapis, are you okay?" she asked.

Lapis snapped back from her train of thought and brushed off Peridot's question without answering it, "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're the one who just got over a fever."

"If 'okay' means just physical health, then we probably wouldn't be in a mental hospital." Peridot countered, "And you didn't answer my question."

"Yes Peri, I'm okay." Lapis sighed.

Peridot, who seemed visibly happier, said, "Good, I am too. I asked Petunia and she gave me permission to use the computer in the library to watch Camp Pining Hearts after group therapy."

"Good for you, it's obvious how much you like that show."

Lapis noticed a mischievous glint in the shorter girl's eyes as she smiled. "I think you mean 'Good for us', yes, today I, Peridot, am going to turn you into a fan of the show!" Peridot exclaimed as she revealed her true intentions.

Lapis shook her head in amusement, "Sure, why not. I don't have anything to lose."

"Yay," Peridot squealed, "not many people here are fans of it so I need people to talk to about it." Peridot explained, "Ruby and Sapphire watch it with me sometimes but that's it."

"Don't worry, I'll become a fan so you have someone to talk about the show too."

"Yay," Peridot squealed again as she wrapped her short arms around Lapis' waist. "you're the best! I promise you'll love it."

"I'm going to remember that promise," Lapis mumbled as she attempted to ignore the way she blushed when Peridot hugged her.

oOoOo

"Are you ready for one of the most amazing shows in existence?" Peridot asked, spinning in circles in the desk chair she was sitting in.

Lapis, who was quite amazed at how excited Peridot was, smiled as she watched at the loading computer screen. "I honestly don't know, Peri. Could I ever be truly prepared for something so awesome?"

Peridot slowed her spinning (although she did not stop) and tapped her chin in thought, before saying, "Well, no, I guess not. You are correct, Lazuli. No one could ever be prepared for the awesomeness that is Camp Pining Hearts." She stopped talking for a moment as the computer finished loading, watching the opening theme song. "We have enough time to watch the first three episodes. This should be enough time to for you to get to know a couple of the main characters."

"Cool." Lapis responded absentmindedly, focusing more on the intro of the show than what Peridot was watched the show for the most part in a comfortable silence, only being broken when Peridot would point out her favorite and least favorite characters or when Lapis would ask a question about the show.

Lapis felt content, sitting there with Peridot leaning against her as they watched Camp Pining Hearts. She really was interested in the show, but it was a bit hard to stay focused on it when Peridot was leaning her head on Lapis' shoulder in an attempt to make herself comfortable while they sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs. She was acutely aware of the blush on her cheeks, she knew it was irrational, she didn't have feelings for Peridot, after all, nothing that wasn't platonic at least, she just wasn't used to physical contact like this.

All of a sudden her thoughts stopped in their tracks when she heard a soft snore coming from beside her. Glancing over to Peridot she saw that the shorter girl had fallen asleep.

She had to stop herself from laughing, unsure if she should wake her up. After thinking about letting her sleep, Lapis realized that she wouldn't be able to move if she didn't wake Peridot up. Plus it was almost curfew, free time was about to end and they would get in trouble if they stayed in the library for much put her hand on Peridot's shoulder in an attempt to wake her as she said softly, "Peri, wake up, you can sleep when we get back to our room.

Peridot's eyelids fluttered open a bit as she mumbled something that Lapis couldn't make out.

"Peri, come on dude. We're gonna get into trouble."

That got her attention, "Okay, I'm getting up." She said as she stood up, rubbing her eyes with one hand and covering her mouth as she yawned with her other.

For the rest of the walk back to their room Lapis had become Peridot's crutch, keeping her half-asleep roommate from falling as they walked through the hallway. Lapis thanked whatever force it was that had given her this gift that Peridot was so light, although Peridot's right leg, weighed down by the prosthetic, dragged behind her in an awkward way that made it difficult for Lapis to support her.

She was thankful when they finally got back to their room. Peridot leaving Lapis to lie down on her bed.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth and change in the bathrooms, so you can change in here while I'm gone. Just don't fall asleep while changing, okay?" Lapis told her.

"M'kay." Peridot mumbled as she sat up in her bed.

As Lapis got ready for bed while she was in the bathrooms she wondered why Peridot was so tired, she was worried that she might not be over her fever. And as she walked back to their room she wondered if she should tell one of the nurses.

"You're concerned," Peridot said, her brow furrowed as she looked up at Lapis from her bed where she was currently tucked under her green blanket. "I can tell."

"How?"

Peridot looked Lapis up and down. "You're tense and you keep glancing at me, but you're trying to be discreet about it."

"I was just worried that you weren't over your fever, I was wondering if I would need to get a nurse." Lapis admitted.

"No, don't get a nurse, I'm fine." Peridot protested, pulling a hand out from under her blanket so she could wave it as if fanning the mere idea away. "Even if I wasn't, being up in the hospital wing sucks. It's all gloomy and lonely. Usually, the only other patients up there are the ones that succeeded in hurting themselves in some way."

Lapis nodded her head as she got into her own bed, draping the blanket over herself instead of tucking it tightly the way Peridot did. "Okay, no nurse, no hospital wing. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't get a lot of sleep during the past two days. Fevers tend to give me...bad dreams."

"Bad dreams?" Lapis repeated, hoping for more elaboration.

"Nothing you need to worry about, just bad memories from my past." Peridot said quickly.

"That really doesn't make me feel any better about your dreams."

"Can we drop this subject and just go to bed?" Peridot asked before Lapis could say anything else.

Lapis reached to the light switch above her bed, before flipping it she told Peridot one last thing, "Listen, Peri, I'll drop it for tonight, but if you need to you can talk to me. Goodnight."

As she laid back down after flipping the switch she could just barely hear a whispered "Goodnight." from across the room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: Thanks to Spartan10007 for pointing out that the chapter was screwed up, hopefully that won't happen again. I'm currently working on a Bubbline one-shot. It's a real-world au about Marceline and Bonnibel going to homecoming together. So if any of you like like Adventure time or fluffy stories about school dances I hope you'll read it.**

Lapis jumped in her seat from the surprise as the sound of breaking glass filled the room.

"Oops." She heard Iris say. Lapis looked over to see Iris frowning as she stared at the source of the noise, a small pile of dirt and a flower that Lapis recognized as Iris' namesake surrounded by the remnants of what used to be the flower pot. "Damn," Iris muttered as she got out of her seat at her small desk. "I really liked that flower."

Now knowing the source of the sound, Lapis turned back to Peridot, "Jeez, that surprised me-Peridot?"

The shorter girl had dropped her book and was staring straight ahead, her eyes wide. Her arms were wrapped around herself, as if in defense.

"Peridot, are you okay?" Lapis reached over to put her hand on Peridot's trembling shoulder but quickly pulled it back when Peridot flinched away from her touch. "Peri?"

"Yeah," Peridot breathed out, her voice shaky. "I'm fine, just surprised."

That wasn't enough to convince Lapis though. "Are you sure?" she asked slowly, choosing her words carefully. "You just seem a bit...on edge."

Peridot stepped away from Lapis, "I told you, I'm fine." She repeated before rushing down the aisle of bookshelves.

Lapis watched as she walked to Iris' desk, talking to her for a moment before leaving the library.

The short girl's exit had done nothing but leave Lapis even more unconvinced at how 'fine' she truly was.

oOoOo

Lapis had decided to leave Peridot alone for a little while. Instead of going to their shared room, where-based on the time-she knew Peridot would currently be, she stayed in the library

While she was there she walked up and down the aisles of books. Occasionally she would take one off of it's place on the shelf to read the description, but never found one that caught her interest.

She felt bad that she had made Peridot mad. She also worried that Peridot thought Lapis had been trying to pry. She knew it wasn't her place to force Peridot to talk about whatever was bothering her, but the way she had reacted to the plant falling was enough to let Lapis know that she wasn't okay, no matter how much she assured Lapis that she was.

Lapis finally gave up on looking for a book and put down the one she was currently holding. She couldn't stay in the library all night, she had to go back to their room eventually. It was almost curfew anyway, might as well go back on her own terms instead if going back because a nurse told her to.

Before she left though, she recalled the book Peridot had been reading. After she dropped it she hadn't bothered to pick it back up. So she went back to the aisle they had been standing in, picking the book up and bringing it to Iris so she could borrow it.

And as she took the short walk back to the room, holding the book to her chest, she thought about why she was so reluctant to face Peridot. Maybe it was a fear of rejection, maybe she was afraid to lose one of the few friends she had ever had.

Maybe it was as simple as not wanting to be around someone that wasn't happy with her.

Lapis shook her head in an effort to clear her thoughts. She was probably just overreacting, Peridot might not be mad at her at all, there was a chance that she stormed out for some other reason.

Lapis shook her head one more time and almost laughed. Now that was wishful thinking.

She made an effort to compose herself, putting on a neutral attitude as she opened the door to their room. "Hey, Peri." She greeted quietly as she walked over to Peridot, who was lying on her bed, the bright green blanket wrapped around her shoulders. "I borrowed the book you dropped. I assumed you wanted it, y'know, since you were reading it." 

Peridot didn't look at her, instead she looked at her hands, chipping away the already chipped green nail polish on her fingernails.

Sighing, Lapis put the book down on the bed, next to Peridot and walked over to her dresser to take her pajamas out.

When she had finished changing and had gotten her toothbrush and the bag with her other allowed hygiene products that she needed, she went back over to Peridot, who hadn't moved. "I'm going to the bathrooms, are you coming?" When Peridot didn't do so much as glance in her direction, she asked, "Did you already go?" Still no answer. "Fine then, I'll be back in ten minutes."

And then she left, walking across the hallway to the bathrooms that all of the girls on the fourth floor shared. She nodded a quick greeting to Ruby, who was brushing her teeth and started the quick process that had become routine for her since her first night at the hospital. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before gathering up her things and walking back to her room.

"I'm back." She announced as she walked back into the room.

Nope, still no answer. That was it for her, she needed Peridot to talk to her.

"Y'know, a small greeting would be nice. I can tell you're mad at me but I don't exactly understand why." She spat.

That got Peridot to finally look at her.

"Oh look, you've bestowed me with your gaze. Is it because I finally said what's on my mind?" Oops, here came the sarcasm.

Peridot's eyes went wide, "Well sorry, I was mad because you wouldn't stop asking if I was okay. Is that a good enough answer for you."

Lapis through her hands into the air, "No, it's not. You're mad at me because I was worried about you? I'm sorry, it must be so terrible to have someone care about you."

Peridot glared at Lapis from her spot on the bed. "You don't get it, I'm not mad because you worried, I'm mad because you couldn't just drop the subject. When I'm having a freaking anxiety attack I don't need to get even more overwhelmed than I already am because someone can't take a hint."

"You were having an anxiety attack?" Lapis whispered, she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as worry instantly replaced the anger.

Peridot froze. "You-you didn't know that?" She squeaked.

Shaking her head, Lapis explained. "No, I've never seen someone have one, I didn't know that was what was happening."

"Oh," Peridot was no longer making eye contact, she was fidgeting with the edge of her blanket. "I-I thought you did. Can we just forget this conversation?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Lapis said slowly. "Have you told Rose?"

"She knows I get anxiety attacks." Both girls knew that wasn't the answer Lapis was looking for.

"Does she know you just had one?" Lapis asked again.

"No," Peridot admitted. "she doesn't. I came straight back to our room."

"But wouldn't it be better to let her know about it?"

"How would it be better, letting her know that the noise off a breaking flower pot is enough to make me have an anxiety attack?" Peridot argued. "It would make her worry even more than she already does." Dropping her voice, Peridot added the last part, "She's like family to me, I don't want to make her worry."

"In case you haven't noticed," Lapis gestured to the room around them. "we're in a mental hospital, she's obviously already worried if she puts someone she considers family, into a place like this, even if she does run it."

"Yeah," Peridot agreed, knowing it was a losing battle on her side. "you're right. It just...sucks."

"You've got that right, Peri."

"Are-are we cool?" Peridot asked, once again making eye contact.

"Yeah, of course we are. I'm sorry for getting mad by the way." Lapis apologized. "I don't really know how to deal with a friend being mad at me. I mean, I don't really know how to deal with having an actual friend…" Lapis hoped that didn't sound as pitiful as it felt.

"Well I'm still getting used to people being concerned about my wellbeing so I guess we can help eachother out. Sound like a deal?"

"Okay, it's a deal."


	12. Chapter 12

Lapis had been attempting to walk into the medical wing when she found herself sitting on the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" She heard of young boy say. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"It's fine." She said as she stood up from the ground. "I should've been paying attent-Steven? We've really gotta stop meeting each other like this."

"Lapis?" Steven smiled, now recognizing the blue-haired girl he had run into. "Hey, what're you doing here, you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just here to get my cast off." Lapis held up her right arm. "Why are you here?"

"My friend, Connie, is here to visit her mom so we came here after school together." Steven told her. "I'll walk in with you and introduce her to you."

Following Steven as he walked through the door, Lapis was met with the strong smell of disinfectant and fluorescent lights that reminded her of the hospital, no wonder Peridot didn't like it here. "Who's her mom?"

"Dr. Maheswaran, she's in charge of the medical wing." Steven said as he waved to a girl across the room that Lapis assumed was Connie. "Connie, I'm back. I want you to meet Lapis, she's one of the newer patients here."

Connie held her hand out to Lapis. "It's nice to meet you, Lapis."

Lapis shook Connie's outstretched hand. "Nice to meet you too. Is Dr. Maheswaran around?"

"She's just in her office, I'll let her know you're here." Connie said before heading to the back of the room where a door seperated an even smaller room from their view.

Lapis watched as Connie knocked on the door and spoke through it to her mother on the other side. Connie waited by the door for a moment until her mother came out of her small office before the two of them walked back to Lapis and Steven.

"Hi, Lapis." Dr. Maheswaran greeted. "Here to get your cast off?" She said as she flipped through papers on a clipboard.

"Yup, it's a bit of a relief but I've gotten used to having it on." Lapis told her, she was left-handed so having it on hadn't affected her ability to write or do much else, it was mostly just a bit annoying.

"Okay then, just let me get the everything I'll need out of my office."

oOoOo

"Lapis," Peridot called out when she saw the blue-haired girl walking towards her in through the hallway. "Why weren't you in Group?"

"I was in the medical wing. I got my cast taken off." Lapis held up her now cast-free arm proudly.

"That's great. I'm glad your arm is fully healed."

Lapis smiled, "Thanks, I honestly got used to having it. My arm feels weird without it on."

"But you should be glad it's off, it wasn't exactly related to a happy memory." Peridot pointed out.

Lapis cringed a bit at the mention of her suicide attempt, "I guess you're right. So, um, how was Group?" She asked in an attempt to change the subject.

If Peridot knew Lapis' intentions to change the subject, she didn't show it. "Surprisingly good, Amethyst's jokes almost make it bearable."

"Well if it was bearable then I'm sorry to say I missed it."

Peridot smirked, "Yeah, I'm sure you are."

Lapis gasped, "Are you calling me a liar, how rude of you to even hint at such a thing."

"You know," Peridot said thoughtfully, "it's probably a good thing that becoming an actor isn't a dream of yours."

"Lots of things aren't dreams of mine, that doesn't mean that I'm not good at them." Lapis pointed out.

"Damn Lazuli, I like this confidence. Where's it coming from 'cause I want in." Peridot smiled.

"I honestly don't know, maybe a nurse slipped some extra zoloft in my orange juice during breakfast. I might talk about it with Rose during my private session, see what she thinks." Lapis said.

Peridot hummed as she thought, "I'm pretty sure that giving a patient medicine without their knowledge is against the rules. Well not always, sometimes there are special cases that require them to do that, but only if it's necessary."

"Huh, you know a lot about this stuff."

Peridot shrugged, "Not really, but I've been here for a while and I like to know my rights as a patient." She explained.

"Sounds reasonable." Lapis agreed, "Do you think you could teach me some of this stuff sometime?"

Peridot perked up at the mention of getting to teach someone something. "Yeah, of course!" She said excitedly, "How does during free time tomorrow sound?"

Caught a bit off guard by how excited Peridot was, Lapis smiled, "Cool, I'm looking forward to it."

Peridot grinned at her and Lapis felt her heart lurch. "Me too."

oOoOo

Lapis walked through the lobby to Lily's desk in the middle, "Hey Lily, is Rose free right now, I didn't have a session with her to day and I want to talk to her."

Lily looked at a paper resting on her desk, what looked like a schedule, before answering. "Yup, she is. You can go see her."

Lapis smiled politely and said "Thank you." to Lily before walking the rest of the way to Rose's office.

She knocked on the door, greeted by Rose who had a confused expression on her face until she saw Lapis.

"Oh Lapis, it's you. I was wondering who would be knocking." She said as she let Lapis in. "What brings you down here?"

"Well, I was feeling really happy today and I'd like to know if there might be a specific reason why." Lapis explained.

"I'm sorry but can you elaborate, I'm not sure if I understand what you're asking me."

"Okay, so obviously I'm depressed. But I'm not constantly sad, I still find things funny, I like to joke around, you know, that type of stuff. But there's still that gloomy nagging feeling in the back of my mind, if you get what I mean. But earlier today, I was happy, like, _really_ happy. The nagging feeling was gone for a little while." Lapis rambled. "I was wondering what the possible reasons for that might be."

"I get it now." Rose nodded. "I'll explain it as simply as I can. People just have their ups and downs. Some have more ups than others and some have more downs than others." She stopped for a moment before asking "Are you with me?" When Lapis nodded Rose continued with the explanation. "You just had a higher up than you normally do."

"That's it?" Lapis felt underwhelmed by Rose's answer. "I thought...I thought that it might mean that I was getting better." She stared at her hands, which were placed in her lap, rather than looking up at Rose.

"Well, here's the thing, I'm going to be blunt with you, getting better is a long process and some people never get completely better. It doesn't just go away because someone that was previously friendless now has friends. Or because someone has fallen in love. It's a long process that requires you to actually work on it if you want to see any change. Even after you're no longer suicidal you still can be depressed. People think that you can just give someone a zoloft every morning and that takes care of it, but it doesn't. But I'm not going to tell you that you haven't improved at all, that 'up' you had could be a sign that you're on the right track. But this is only the beginning, okay?"

Lapis forced herself to look up at Rose before nodding her head again.

"Good." Rose smiled. "I'm going to stop here. Go back up to your room, think about what we've just talked about and get some rest."

"Alright, I will." Lapis promised as she stood up to leave.

Before she walked out the door though, Rose said one last thing. "Congratulations on getting your cast off."


	13. Chapter 13

"Peridot, Lapis, did you hear the news?" The previously mentioned girls turned around to see Amethyst hurrying towards them. "A new patient is coming later today."

"Really? Cool." Peridot said excitedly. "You'll no longer be the new kid, Lapis." Peridot poked her arm.

"I guess not. Were people this excited when word got out that I was coming here?" She asked, amazed by how big of a deal they made it seem.

"Yup, it's always exciting when a new patient comes." Amethyst answered. "It's cool to see what they're like."

"Well, guess I'm glad to no longer be the newest arrival." Lapis admitted.

"We're meeting her during Group. Like when you introduced yourself." Peridot explained as they continued walking. "Do you know why they're coming?"

"I heard one of the nurses say something about drugs," Amethyst shrugged. "I don't know if that's actually the reason, though. It might be something else."

"I guess we'll just have to wait until we get to the library." Lapis said as the turned a corner, reaching the hallway with the library's entrance. "How will we ever survive the wait?" She joked.

"We don't have to wait." Peridot pointed to a tall girl with dyed pink hair. "That must be her."

"She looks like a badass, maybe she'll be cool." Amethyst said optimistically.

"Come on guys, I know she's hot but you've got to stop staring for a second so we can get our seats." Lapis teased, enjoying how red Peridot's face turned.

"N-no I wasn't staring because she's hot. It-it was just out of, um, curiosity." Peridot sputtered.

"Relax Peridot," Amethyst smiled. "You don't need to deny it. Look" She pointed to Pearl. "even Pearl is staring."

"Hmph, let's just get our seats, like Lapis said." Peridot grumbled as she hurried ahead of them.

Lapis turned to Amethyst. "Is she okay? I was just joking."

"Yeah she's fine, just embarrassed." Amethyst answered, brushing off the question as they walked into the library after Peridot.

Lapis took her seat on Peridot's left, Amethyst on her right, as they waited for Rose to introduce the new girl.

Lapis was starting to understand why they were treating it like such a big deal and after what felt like forever due to their growing curiosity, Rose and the new girl finally took their seats in the circle.

"Hello everyone," Rose greeted. "As I'm sure you all know, we have a new arrival today. As always we'll go around the circle and introduce ourselves and if you want you can tell her why you're here."

"Hi, I'm Sheena." The new girl said. "I'm here because my parents found out I was doing drugs."

The usual introductions went around the circle. When it was Lapis' turn she noticed that it felt different introducing herself _to_ the new girl instead of introducing herself _as_ the new girl.

Peridot nudged her with her elbow when it was Pearls turn, silently bringing the faint blush on the pale girl's cheeks to her attention. The two exchanged small smiles, they weren't the only ones who found Sheena attractive.

When Group was finally over and many of their peers had left the library, Lapis and Peridot sat behind the rows of bookshelves.

"Pearl definitely has a major crush on Sheena." Lapis giggled.

"Obviously, her face was as red as Ruby's namesake." Peridot laughed back. "I think I understand why she does. Sheena has a very strong resemblance to Rose, with their height and pink hair, Sheena's basically like a younger, more punk-rock version of Rose."

Lapis nodded. "I thought that too. Punk-rock, drug-doing girls don't seem like the type she'd normally pine after."

"Trust me, they aren't." The short girl confirmed. "I know she'd been trying to get over her crush on Rose, maybe Sheena will help with that."

"That's good, it wasn't exactly a mutual crush anyway. Ignoring all the other reasons it would be wrong for Pearl to be with Rose, does Rose even like girls?"

"Oh, yeah. Rose is pansexual, gender totally isn't the issue." Peridot said.

"What about you?" Lapis asked before she even had the time to process what she was asking. "You seemed uncomfortable when I mention how attractive Sheena is."

"Oh, yeah, I'm gay and asexual." Peridot answered. "You?"

"Totally gay." Lapis said, once again, not even taking the time to process what she was saying. "Wow, it honestly feels weird to say that. I haven't come out to my parents yet."

"Are they homophobic?" Peridot asked.

Lapis shook her head quickly. "No...it's just scary. I've tried to a few times but I always chicken out."

"Yeah, if I had the choice my mother would have never known I'm not straight." Peridot admitted quietly.

"Did she react that badly?"

"Yup. The only reason I even came out was because I forgot to delete my search history before she looked at it. She saw all the forums and blogs and shit."

"She went through your search history?" Lapis gawked.

Peridot rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, she did regular checks. Wanted to make sure I wasn't rebelling or some other stuff like that."

"Jesus christ, my mother was nosy but she never did anything as low as searching my history."

"I realize now that it's not completely normal but back then I thought that it was. After she found out she started yelling about how no daughter of hers would be gay and that asexuality wasn't a real thing." Peridot told her, resting her head back against the bookshelf they were sitting next to. "I dunno, it was pretty awful but Rose talked to her and managed to get her to calm down about it a bit. I honestly thought she was going to disown me that night."

"Fuck, dude. You don't live with her anymore, right?" Lapis asked, barely understanding how Peridot would be able to handle going through that. "Since you're adopted I assume you don't."

"Nah, she's in prison right now." Peridot said, almost too casually.

Lapis decided not to press any further. She didn't want to make Peridot uncomfortable but she was also scared of what else the blonde had to go through.

"Hey Lapis?" Peridot said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah Peri?" Lapis wasn't sure what she was expecting but what Peridot said next certainly wasn't it.

"Do you think aliens wonder if _we_ exist?" Peridot asked, her voice and face showing that she was completely serious.

"I bet they already know about us but don't want to make contact because of how messed up our world is." Lapis told her, at first serious as well but she couldn't contain the laughter bubbling inside her. "We've probably scared them off." She continued when she got some control over the laughter.

Peridot had begun laughing too, Lapis' laughter seemingly contagious. The two girls attempted to muffle their laughs before they got in trouble. "Maybe they're more advanced than us and are trying to send us messages too complicated for us to decrypt."

Lapis' wide grin turned into a soft smile as they continued to theorize about aliens and why humanity hadn't found any yet. Some of the theories were serious and others were just ridiculous but they stayed there until it was time to head to the cafeteria for dinner, rather reluctantly they left the private area the shelves created and met up with the rest of the teens on their way to dinner, the seriousness of their earlier conversation forgotten. Lapis knew she would have prefered to stay there all night.


End file.
